IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people today choose to take part in extreme sports (e.g. skydiving,rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Who do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport?

#people #part #sports #e #g #rock #sport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
 today choose to take part in extreme
sports
such
 as skydiving and rock climbing.
This
 trend has gained popularity, and there are several reasons why
people
 are attracted to these high-adrenaline
activities
. One major reason
people
 engage in extreme
sports
 is the thrill and excitement they provide. These
activities
 often push individuals to their limits, offering a sense of achievement and exhilaration. The rush of adrenaline from facing and overcoming danger can be very addictive, leading
people
 to seek more extreme
experiences
. Another reason is the challenge and desire to test one’s physical and mental limits. Extreme
sports
 require a high level of skill, fitness, and mental toughness. Many participants enjoy training and improving their abilities, finding satisfaction in mastering a difficult sport.
This
 sense of accomplishment is a powerful motivator.
Additionally
, extreme
sports
 often offer unique and breathtaking
experiences
 not available through conventional
activities
.
For example
, skydiving provides a bird’s-eye view of the world,
while
 rock climbing allows individuals to explore remote and stunning natural landscapes. These
experiences
 create lasting memories and a deep connection with nature. Regarding who should pay if
people
 injure themselves
while
 participating in extreme
sports
, opinions differ. I believe individuals who choose these
activities
 should be responsible for their own
safety
 and any resulting costs. They are aware of the risks involved and make a conscious decision to engage in potentially dangerous
activities
.
However
, organizations offering these
sports
 must provide adequate
safety
 measures and training to minimize injury risks. In conclusion, the appeal of extreme
sports
 lies in the thrill, challenge, and unique
experiences
 they offer.
While
 participants should take responsibility for their
safety
, proper
safety
 measures must
also
 be in place to protect them.
Submitted by acaitaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all points directly address the prompt question. Clarify who is responsible for costs, possibly considering insurance roles.
coherence
Each paragraph could start with a clear topic sentence to enhance structure clarity for the reader.
task response
Provide more specific examples for each reason to enrich the explanation and make the argument more compelling.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly sets the stage for discussing the reasons people engage in extreme sports.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs addressing separate points.
vocabulary use
Good use of vocabulary related to extreme sports, enhancing the overall writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: