Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Schools which follow traditional education have taught the same topics since ancient times.
Therefore
, many people argue that '
History
' should be widely learnt, considering it one of the vital subjects.
Nevertheless
, there are many other topics to be taught in order to acquire integral knowledge. I consider that learning all subjects is vital not only in high
school
but
also
in middle
school
. In
this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To begin
with, all
students
should learn about the
history
of their countries
as well as
the most crucial worldwide historical events because it leads to a sense of belonging.
Besides
, it is well known that those who have no knowledge about their own
history
will have the same defeats.
Additionally
, since most countries in the world follow democracy and suffrage as representations of their population, everyone must know how to vote conscientiously by learning their entire
history
.
For example
, in Colombia, it was proved that most people do not know about the most crucial events in the past,
thus
they avoid voting because there are no forms to justify their elections.
On the other hand
, humankind should learn about more skills, mainly those that are considered cutting-edge tools.
This
is exemplified by 'Technology' and 'Science' which are crucial topics that should be known by humanity.
As a consequence
of
this
, nowadays, learning about programming code, machine learning, and artificial intelligence is mandatory in almost all schools.
For instance
, in 2020, research performed in the United States showed that most people from any undergraduate program should acquire those techniques in order to have a higher rate of employability.
To sum up
, all subjects are crucial to be taught by
students
either during high
school
or basic
school
in order to raise integral
students
.
Nevertheless
, most
students
should focus on their own skills.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
Ensure to expand on some points for deeper analysis. While you covered the essentials, adding a bit more detail to each argument would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Utilize varied linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion further. While your transitions were good, a broader range of connectors would make the essay flow even more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs for introducing both perspectives and your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the example from Colombia and the research from the United States.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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