Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Nowadays, electronic devices are becoming more and more popular and they

also

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bring lots of benefits to humans. Some people argue that reading and writing

skills

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don't improve if individuals usually use mobile phones and computers. In my view, I partly agree with

this

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opinion because of the following reasons.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, different from books, it is hard to focus on knowledge, which people want to see

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apply

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when using electronic devices because it doesn't only support simple information but they can advertise and messages from others that make users distraction.

For example

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, if you find an e-book on a website, the appearance of other information makes you get difficult to read,

while

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books help you completely focus on it.

Moreover

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, the attraction of mobile phones and computers

also

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makes you spend lots of time

such

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as video games, movies and so on. They make you don't practice your skill frequently.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, I believe that active communities still can improve their reading and writing

skills

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while

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using electronic instruments. They must be self-aware which means that they set a target before using cellphones and computers and they only concentrate on completing it. If you can do it, you will increase your reading and writing

skills

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with electronic material.

For instance

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, parents usually require their children to use books or notebooks to practice.

However

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instead

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of the ban, parents should guide their teenagers on how to find documentaries that help students progress significantly.

Conclusion

In conclusion, there are lots of methods to develop

skills

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, what's important is each yourself.

Although

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electronic devices are more distracting than traditional ones, if people can use them properly they will bring several advantages.

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Dec 26, 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by improving the transition between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.

Task Achievement

Expand your main points with more detail and nuanced arguments. Be sure to address the task fully by presenting a balanced view and deepening the exploration of each viewpoint with clear, specific examples and comprehensive reasoning.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
digital literacy
multitasking
e-books
attention span
informal language
shorthand
interactivity
traditional literacy
comprehension
retention
multimedia elements
communication platforms
formal writing
reading habits

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