IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

"Some people believe that online education is more effective than traditional classroom learning. Others think that face-to-face interaction is essential for a good education." Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is a well-known fact that
education
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 plays a significant role in children's lives.
However
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, whether online
education
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 is more effective than traditional classroom learning is beneficial or not has become a hotly debated issue among people from every walk of life. I firmly believe that there are both advantages and disadvantages in
education
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. On the one hand, online
education
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 is most common in the modern world thanks to advances in the field of technology.
Moreover
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, many
students
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 access a wide variety of materials with ease through online
education
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.
Furthermore
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, these
students
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 have the opportunity to study they want everywhere.
This
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 is because of the fact that when comes to a good
education
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, the key factor is studying every time.
For example
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, when I was a student at the University, I usually studied with my computer or smartphone no matter where I was.
On the other hand
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, a great number of
students
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 prefer to receive face-to-face
education
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instead
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 of online
education
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. These
students
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 believe that they can have more social at the school. Without any doubt, many
students
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 are willing to meet new friends from different cultures in order to learn about the world and gain invaluable vision.
Therefore
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, if they receive face-to-face
education
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, they communicate and interact efficiently with their classmates during partner classmate tasks.
For instance
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, when I was a primary school, I went to school five days a week and I loved sharing my study notes with my friends.
To sum up
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, there are both negative and positive effects is why online
education
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 or face-to-face
education
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 in terms of the number of
students
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 like quick and available
education
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 and close relationships with their classmates. I think parents should act as their children's choice.

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the views you will discuss and your own opinion. This sets a clear expectation for the reader.
conclusion
In your conclusion, try to restate your opinion more clearly and summarize the key points you made in the body paragraphs.
coherence
Use transition words like 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'for instance' more effectively to guide the reader and link your ideas more cohesively.
task achievement
You clearly present both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your personal examples add a touch of authenticity and reinforce your points.
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