IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that people living in the twenty-first century have a better standard of living as compared to previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There has been an undeniable advance in all aspects of
life
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 that has granted humans better conditions. I consider that matters
such
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 as technology and medicine are always improving,
hence
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, our standard of
life
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 is constantly increasing, especially compared to previous centuries where they lacked medicine and services that now are considered basic. Human civilizations have suffered from sickness for all their time around. As medical researchers find new ways to combat viruses, vitamins to help an immune system, and surgeries replacing vital parts of the body, people access a better quality of
life
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. It follows a plain formula; the more medical advancements that are found, the more people benefit from these.
For instance
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, penicillin was a major discovery that increased dramatically
life
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 expectancy,
thus
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, allowing societies to enjoy a better
life
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. I believe
this
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 is clear evidence of how
this
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 sector was boosted.
Furthermore
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, technological development has eased physical activities for users, some of these as simple as household chores, going through complicated activities that would take resources and are time-consuming as digging holes and building houses.
Then
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, no one can deny how fortunate we are for the devices we have access to and the easiness of usage they have.
For example
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, a studio in Mexico has shown that an individual is spending less time in cleaning activities as he is being supported by an electric mop. In my opinion, comparing the current standard of living with past ages is ridiculous as we possess more supporting devices. In conclusion, the standard of living will keep skyrocketing and humans will experience an even easier
life
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 in the future, new generations probably will look back at us and will compare the same, and they will just realize they are blessed.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence and maintain focus on that single idea without deviation. Your conclusion effectively summarized your points, but it should do more than just forecast; it should reflect on what has been presented.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, when introducing examples, provide more detailed and specific evidence to support your main points. While you provided general statements and examples, expanding on these with specifics could further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
A wider range of sentence structures and more complex language would both make your essay more compelling and demonstrate greater language proficiency. Avoid excessive simplicity in sentence construction to better showcase your language skills.
task achievement
Work on the structure and complexity of your sentences. The essay should exhibit a variety of complex structures, and ideas should be expressed in a way that clearly conveys your point of view with an appropriate level of formality.
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