New Technologies change the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of these changes outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #change #children #time #changes

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It is quite obvious that our technology has been involved in individuals' lives,

hence

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this

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generation of kids has used technology since their elementary education.

This

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can have both negative and positive impacts on our children. I opine that it depends on personal use. On the one hand, the high innovation gives us a lot of convenience. Nowadays, most of education bring technology to improve their course.

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this

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generation can study from anywhere in

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entire world by learning from online courses.

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, if individuals desire to be enlightened about something that they don't understand they can use Google or other applications to discover things that they desire,

therefore

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this

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can make it not only more convenient to discover interesting topics but

also

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decrease our time to find the answer.

On the other hand

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, overload can make an important contribution to causing us unhealthy.

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, eye issues can be caused by overload used,

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, the most appropriate solution is to limit hours of use.

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, the population should not ignore social skills, especially since

this

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period is the most important time to learn to make friend with others and study every skill that can adapt in their future life.

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, parents find it extremely difficult to distract their children from their smartphones. Not only the authorities and the health organizations should take a serious in

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issue but

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a parent should give their free time to stay with their son and pay attention to them because they are our country's future.

Submitted by amittawin on Thu Nov 30 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction briefly addresses the topic, but a clearer thesis statement is needed to explicitly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion is present, yet it can be improved by directly summarizing the discussed points and your stance on the issue.

logical structure

There is a logical flow in the essay, but transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be clearer. Use cohesive devices to strengthen the connection between ideas.

supported main points

While you have provided some examples, they are somewhat generic. Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support your main points.

complete response

Make sure to provide a complete response to the question by addressing both sides of the argument. Ensure that the advantages and disadvantages are thoroughly evaluated and weighed to determine if one truly outweighs the other.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are relevant, but try to develop them more comprehensively. Expand on your points by providing additional explanations, examples, and reasoned arguments.

relevant specific examples

Use relevant examples to clarify and support your points, but they should be specific and directly related to the topic to effectively strengthen your argument.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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New Technologies change the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of these changes outweigh the disadvantages?

Studies show that many people in the prison have low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree?

computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree