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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares the number of people who visited 5 attractions in Parkvale city between 1996 and 2016.

The graph compares the number of people who visited 5 attractions in Parkvale city between 1996 and 2016.
#people #attractions #parkvale #city
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This
 line chart illustrates the count number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 which are provided
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 trend
five
Change preposition
in five
show examples
 places are; where located in Parkvale city from 1996 to 2016
To begin
 with, the majority
Change preposition
of tourist
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 was
visit
Replace the word
visited
show examples
 place in national gallery
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the second year observed
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
 increase.
Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the
aquum
Correct your spelling
aquarium
 was the place
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people loved
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
however
Correct word choice
but
show examples
, they
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quile
Correct your spelling
quite
quilt
 empty
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the next following years. It is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 was started in 1989 by about
above
Change preposition
apply
show examples
400
thousends
, the
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 stable visiting within the spam. Art is the lowest
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 in 1989 but, it
gradual
Change the word
gradually
show examples
clime
Correct your spelling
climb
show examples
 to its peak
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 2004 was just below 400
thousends
Correct your spelling
thousands
thousand
 as similar
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
visitor
Correct article usage
the visitor
show examples
count
Change the verb form
counts
show examples
 in 2016. Zoo and gallery
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the
sam
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
atraction
Correct your spelling
attraction
attractive
 mood in 1989 which
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 were approximately 300
thousends
Correct your spelling
thousands
thousand
. But
then
 it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 which the gallery
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
number of visitors
show examples
 in 2004
while
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the number of visitors reduced to about 100
thousends
.
Submitted by M on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousends with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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