Many people feel that urban environments are more unhealthy than they have ever been. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What measures can be effective in tackling this problem?
Although
Medicine
is a field
which has a myriad of branches with a lot of fascinating and impressive ways of studying it, one of the most awe-inspiring characteristics is, without a doubt, its well-balanced relationship among natural, formal and social sciences. This
mixture leads to a wide spectrum of complex stumbling blocks which requires an appropriate combination of curiosity and multidisciplinarity to solve them. From a very early age, this
aroused my interest and prompted me to study not only the structure of the human body and physiology but also
the mechanisms of pathogenesis with the respective treatments.
My Bachelor’s Degree in Medical Science (Medical Doctor, MD), which was studied at Universidad Militar Nueva Granada in Bogotá, Colombia, was a complete training in both clinical and research
fields using analytical methods as well as
evidence-based medicine
techniques. The integration of these aspects along with
acquiring the basic knowledge about natural sciences, such
as cellular biology, biophysics, biochemistry, anatomy, histology, etc, showed me how perfect the functionality and homeostasis of human beings is, however
, it still lacks information. Since then
, Health
Sciences became a passion for me, showing a high academic performance with award scholarships being granted due to
‘The Class of Honors Qualification’, and achieving the best GPA over 52 alumni in my class graduating students.
Over time and parallel to my academic duties, my career interests in the research
field
constantly increased. In the beginning, they were focused on Stem Cells, Genetics & Genomics, and Bioethics, taking an elective course for three years related to these branches in which there were theoretical and practical immersive sessions. Hence
, exploring deeper into the most specific literacy and research
done from ancient times to the present day as well as
learning cutting-edge techniques about cultures, analysis, and methodology, finally
being part of the ‘BioGenEtica Research
Group’ at the above-mentioned University. After that, my research
experience broadened to other topics linked to microbiology and parasitology, researching mainly diseases caused by helminths and protozoa that affect children in Colombia. These projects have been presented at several not only national but also
international symposiums and conferences as well as
have been published in indexed journals.
Regarding my work experience, during the last
academic year, which is known as ‘The Internship’, the general clinical rotations were deeper in knowledge about Pediatrics, Surgery, and Gynecology and Obstetrics, and my elective program consisted of seven months related to Internal Medicine
. Subsequently
, after my graduation, my clinical performance was focused on the Internal Medicine
field
mainly related to critical care
, emergency room, and inpatient health
care
. Additionally
, taking specific continuing education courses to learn the most innovative strategies about COVID-19 management and fundamental critical care
support certified by The Society of Critical Care
Medicine
.
Based on the aforementioned and after my backgrounds and experiences in all scenarios, namely academic, work, and research
, not only my critical thinking and problem-solving skills have been
developed faster but Unnecessary verb
apply
also
the relationship between The Technological Field
and Medicine
has awakened my interest. This
is mostly because there are endless techniques that have rocketed the bioinformatics and health
informatics research
, health
care
database analysis, health
administration, and public health
. Therefore
, I am undertaking a virtual Postgraduate Program in Artificial Intelligence in
The University of Texas at Austin, which has given me tools aimed at Python Programming Code, Machine Learning, and Neural Networks.Change preposition
at
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your transitions between paragraphs are smoother. While your ideas are well-organized, sometimes the connection between paragraphs is abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Include a brief conclusion that summarizes the points discussed in the essay to cap off your response effectively.
task achievement
While you provide many relevant and specific examples, make sure they align closely with the main points of the essay prompt.
task achievement
Focus on addressing possible measures to tackle the problems associated with the urban environment, as the essay discusses your academic journey more than the given topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and supported main points.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensive and demonstrate a deep understanding of the subject matter.
task achievement
The range of specific examples related to different areas of medicine adds depth and interest to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.