The arts,including arts, music and theater are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

#arts #music #theater #society #place #lifestyles #school #curriculum

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It is claimed by many people that

arts

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play a significant role in our community.

Nevertheless

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, questions regarding its relativity in our modern life are circulating and whether

arts

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should be implemented as part of the school education system is yet to be analysed and discussed through the following paragraphs. From my point of view, creative

arts

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subjects

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are indeed extremely important for our social life.

Thus

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, integrating creative

arts

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subjects

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into the school curriculum should be prioritized. The

arts

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still hold their position in today's society

due to

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these two possible reasons: demand for entertainment and all-rounded requirements from tertiary institutions. To give an example, pop

music

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, and singer Taylor Swift generated a hundred million dollars in revenue through her world tour concert named The Eras Tour.

This

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vividly shows the massive demand for

music

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entertainment. Another proof of the importance of the

arts

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is reflected in universities' admission requirements.

This

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suggests that to get a university offer, the student should not only have excellent academic performance but

also

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demonstrate a variety of co-curricular extracurricular activities, in which the

arts

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are commonly seen as interesting by admission officers.

Therefore

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, it is crucial for schools to integrate creative

arts

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subjects

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into the student's syllabus. One of the reasons why teaching the

arts

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is advantageous is that students can be developed exhaustively, with exposure to different skill sets. A good illustration of

this

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could be

Music

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as it creates an incentive for children to use both halves of their brain which most of the

subjects

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rarely those.

This

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means that the students who take different

subjects

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including the

arts

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would develop their creativity as equal to their logical thinking that derives from their left brain. Another benefit of

this

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measure is that their communication skills could be greatly improved, a soft skill

that is

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valued in the majority of occupations.

For instance

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, when students perform in drama or

music

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, they must control their gestures, voice tones, and speeches clearly for the audience to grasp the performance entirely.

This

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demonstrates how communication and public speaking skills could be trained through these

subjects

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. In general,

although

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skepticism

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scepticism

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arises frequently, the

arts

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are proven to be as strong as before. I strongly believe that the

arts

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still maintain their value in nowadays society if equality is reinforced in

this

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field, and creative

arts

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subjects

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such

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music

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, drama, and

arts

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should be taught in all schools if possible.

Submitted by trinhbakhanhlinh on Wed Dec 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay generally presents ideas in a logical manner, but there are opportunities to improve the connection between ideas through better use of transition phrases and cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that introduction and conclusion are present and reflect the main ideas of the essay, while also clearly restating the writer's opinion and summarising the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

While main points are present, they could be better supported with more detailed and varied evidence. This will strengthen the argument and make the essay more persuasive.

task achievement

You have addressed the task, but to enhance the response, ensure that you fully develop your ideas with a balance of general opinion and specific details. This will provide a thorough exploration of the topic.

task achievement

The clarity of ideas can be improved by avoiding overly complex sentence structures and ensuring that each paragraph has one clear main idea, which is then expanded on with relevant details.

task achievement

You provided examples which are supporting your points well. To further improve, make sure that examples are directly relevant and clearly illustrate the viewpoint being discussed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

404 words

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The arts,including arts, music and theater are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

Word Count

Memorising facts is the most important way to succeed in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

More and more people want to own famous brands of cars, clothes and other items. What are the reason for this. Is this a positive or negative trend?

some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benifit teenagers at the school. To what extent advantages outweigh the disadvantages?