The arts,including arts, music and theater are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

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It is claimed by many people that
arts
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play a significant role in our community.
Nevertheless
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, questions regarding its relativity in our modern life are circulating and whether
arts
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should be implemented as part of the school education system is yet to be analysed and discussed through the following paragraphs. From my point of view, creative
arts
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subjects
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are indeed extremely important for our social life.
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, integrating creative
arts
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subjects
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into the school curriculum should be prioritized. The
arts
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still hold their position in today's society
due to
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these two possible reasons: demand for entertainment and all-rounded requirements from tertiary institutions. To give an example, pop
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, and singer Taylor Swift generated a hundred million dollars in revenue through her world tour concert named The Eras Tour.
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vividly shows the massive demand for
music
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entertainment. Another proof of the importance of the
arts
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is reflected in universities' admission requirements.
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suggests that to get a university offer, the student should not only have excellent academic performance but
also
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demonstrate a variety of co-curricular extracurricular activities, in which the
arts
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are commonly seen as interesting by admission officers.
Therefore
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, it is crucial for schools to integrate creative
arts
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subjects
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into the student's syllabus. One of the reasons why teaching the
arts
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is advantageous is that students can be developed exhaustively, with exposure to different skill sets. A good illustration of
this
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could be
Music
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as it creates an incentive for children to use both halves of their brain which most of the
subjects
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rarely those.
This
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means that the students who take different
subjects
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including the
arts
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would develop their creativity as equal to their logical thinking that derives from their left brain. Another benefit of
this
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measure is that their communication skills could be greatly improved, a soft skill
that is
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valued in the majority of occupations.
For instance
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, when students perform in drama or
music
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, they must control their gestures, voice tones, and speeches clearly for the audience to grasp the performance entirely.
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demonstrates how communication and public speaking skills could be trained through these
subjects
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. In general,
although
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skepticism
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scepticism
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arises frequently, the
arts
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are proven to be as strong as before. I strongly believe that the
arts
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still maintain their value in nowadays society if equality is reinforced in
this
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field, and creative
arts
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subjects
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such
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as
music
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, drama, and
arts
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should be taught in all schools if possible.
Submitted by trinhbakhanhlinh on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
While main points are present, they could be better supported with more detailed and varied evidence. This will strengthen the argument and make the essay more persuasive.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but to enhance the response, ensure that you fully develop your ideas with a balance of general opinion and specific details. This will provide a thorough exploration of the topic.
task achievement
The clarity of ideas can be improved by avoiding overly complex sentence structures and ensuring that each paragraph has one clear main idea, which is then expanded on with relevant details.
task achievement
You provided examples which are supporting your points well. To further improve, make sure that examples are directly relevant and clearly illustrate the viewpoint being discussed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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