Some people think that developments involving the internet have brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is often argued that technological advancements , including the
Use synonyms
internet
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internet,
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have played a key role in terms of bringing individuals closer together.
However
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,some claim that
people
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and societies have become more separated from each other
due to
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the
internet
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.
This
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essay will discuss both views and explain why I personally support the idea of the detrimental effects of online
technology
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on human relationships and communities. On the one hand , supporters of online
technology
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argue that it allows
people
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to communicate instantly , regardless of distance .
This
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can be explained by the fact that , in the past , humans had to rely on letters or expensive international phone calls in order to stay in touch with others abroad,which often took weeks , even months.Today,
however
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, owing to digital platforms
such
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as WhatsApp and Zoom allow families living in different countries to interact daily , reinforcing emotional bonds .
Therefore
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, the
internet
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can be regarded as a powerful tool for bringing the world closer together through online interaction . On the other hand, many
people
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believe that online communication has replaced face-to-face interaction. Numerous individuals prefer chatting online
instead
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of meeting in person ,which gradually reduces social skills and emotional depth in relationships.
Moreover
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, excessive
internet
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use often leads to addiction and loneliness , as individuals spend more time on virtual platforms than with their family or community.
Consequently
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,
while
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technology
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connects
people
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virtually , it often disconnects them emotionally . In conclusion ,
although
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the
internet
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allows for faster communication despite location, it has
also
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resulted in growing isolation and weaker personal relationships , including health issues.Personally, I believe that
technology
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should be used moderately to enhance communication rather than replace
them
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it
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.

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Task response
Add more clear examples to show your point.
Task response
Make your view clearer in the last paragraph and link it to the earlier points.
Coherence
Use more sign post words to show how ideas are connected.
Coherence
Shorten long sentences and fix grammar for easy reading.
Task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Coherence
You use linking words like On the one hand, On the other hand, Therefore.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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