IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuels do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that increasing fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 prices will be an efficient way to shield humans from pollution and tackle environmental issues.
This
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 essay presents a contrasting perspective with the statement since it could lead to economic strain and social effects.
Although
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 increasing the costs of
fuel
Use synonyms
 may reduce consumption in developing and developed countries, it
also
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 has a consequence for the economy, especially in developing countries where transportation is a lifeline for economic activities. Fossil fuels are a common source of transport, including public and private vehicles, higher
fuel
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 costs could become the reason why citizens cannot afford and delay their generation income.
As a result
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, the whole economic development of a country would fall down or slow down. It not only affects pedestrians' work but has an effect on countries' economies.
Additionally
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, there are majority of people who go to work in their vehicles use
fuel
Use synonyms
 and lower-income groups use transportation as a way to generate money, if the price of fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 goes higher
then
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 it would widespread dissatisfaction among middle,
due to
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 these people spend a higher percentage of their income on transport and lead to economic strain.
Moreover
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, it could exacerbate inequality between the poverty and the wealthy,
for instance
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,
a classes
Correct the article-noun agreement
classes
a class
show examples
 could show off how they can purchase fossils and others cannot, which would make the lower-income groups feel disrespected and embarrassed about themselves. In conclusion, increasing the costs of fossil fuels is not an effective way to tackle environmental problems and it
also
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 has negative consequences social and economic. Citizens may face widespread inequality and the economy would be fragile.

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coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits some degree of logical structuring; however, it lacks clear and well-developed paragraphs that lead the reader through the argument in a methodical way. Aim to enhance the logical flow by using cohesive devices and clear paragraphing to delineate each main point.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved. The thesis statement requires sharpening to directly address the essay question, and the concluding paragraph should more effectively summarize the arguments presented. Both elements should encapsulate the main points of the essay while clearly stating your position.
coherence cohesion
The main points provided to support your arguments need to be more fully elaborated. Each paragraph should include a single main idea with clear examples or evidence to back it up. This will strengthen your argumentation and make your ideas more persuasive.
task achievement
While the response to the task is discernible, it could more effectively address all parts of the prompt. Align your response with the task requirements by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree and by providing a more direct answer to the question posed.
task achievement
The essay contains ideas that are relevant to the prompt, but they need to be developed more comprehensively. Focus on expanding your points, providing deeper analysis, and clearly explaining how they relate to the core issue of environmental concerns and fuel pricing.
task achievement
Support your arguments with relevant and specific examples. The use of a broader range of examples, including statistical data or real-world scenarios, would help substantiate your position on the issue and make your case more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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