IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that global warming is the most urgent issue facing humanity. Others believe that deforestation has a more severe impact on our environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #humanity #deforestation #impact #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The changes in climate can be seen all over the globe
such
 as severe heat waves in the summer in Europe and unusually heavy rains in the Middle East. It is believed by some individuals that global warming is threatening the future of humankind, and it requires immediate attention
while
 others think that the reduction in green areas
due to
 excessive tree cutting has worse effects on earth. I believe that all human activities have an impact on our
environment
 and create endless chain reactions.
For
this
 reason, collective
efforts
 are needed to reduce harm toward our planet and give future generations a better future. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both points of view and give my input. When scientific bodies in 1980 started paying attention to global warming most people did not believe in it and thought it was propaganda. As the years passed, people started to feel the impact of
this
 phenomenon on the
environment
such
 as in the events of wildfire, increased temperature on earth and melting of icebergs in the north and south poles.
As a result
, more and more
efforts
 are being made to reduce the issue,
for example
, using alternative energy and recycling.
However
,
while
 global warming is one of the issues threatening our
environment
, deforestation is adding
further
 complications to the matter. It is commonly believed that trees are the lungs of planet Earth and cutting down trees is leading to the extension of some species of birds and increasing the greenhouse effect which unfortunately leads to
further
 undesired environmental degradation.
Furthermore
, spending time in green spaces and having regular contact with
mother nature
Correct your spelling
Mother Nature
show examples
 is important for mental health. For these reasons, it is notable the initiatives and increasing
efforts
 to protect national natural preserves and forests. In conclusion, protecting the
environment
 and reducing the side effects of human activities require collaborative
efforts
 and initiatives. The focus and actions should encapsulate all possible threats without choosing one over the other.
Submitted by ghadeersulami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve task response, provide more specific examples or data to support your claims about the effects of global warming and deforestation.
coherence
Improve coherence by using more varied transitional phrases to better link ideas and paragraphs.
cohesion
For cohesion, try to sustain a smoother flow by using consistent linking words and reference pronouns.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task response
The writer covers both views on global warming and deforestation, providing a balanced discussion.
content highlight
Efforts to address global challenges like global warming and deforestation are mentioned, showcasing awareness of ongoing initiatives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: