Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Television
is a mode of entertainment in families and over the years it has taken a significant place in everyone's life. Though adults have their responsibilities and preferences for office work so do not spend much
time
watching TV,
this
is not true for
children
and often after school, particularly in the absence of parents or guardians, they spend a lot of
time
on
this
. In
this
essay, I will describe some of the adverse effects of spending more than the required
time
on
Television
.
Firstly
, the most significant effect of excessive screen watching is on health.
Due to
a habit of continuous TV watch,
children
often miss physical activities and later lose interest in their sports.
Furthermore
, as they are often occupied for hours, just sitting and watching their favourite shows, it results in obesity and eye problems.
Moreover
, extreme watching
also
impairs concentration and sometimes a child develops a false perception and identity. A report from a paediatric unit of an Indian government hospital suggested an increase of 10% incidence of obesity in the
last
decade.
Nevertheless
, these days technology and media are playing a significant role in skill enhancements. Limited exposure to
television
-guided shows helps
children
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remain aware of tech and their favourite shows.
This
way, they will not feel isolated
instead
it will help them remain encouraged and motivated for their work and develop a habit of setting priorities. I conclude that the negative effects of watching
television
are happening nowadays, that should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be reduced and my opinion is that
children
can watch
television
but the
time
should be reduced the spending many hours will be negative alternatively the
time
can be reduced that will be the best way for
this
problem.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
You have attempted to address the question, but your response lacks a clear position throughout the essay. Make sure your opinion is consistent and clear. State your position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an effort to organize ideas; however, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and paragraphing could be more logical. Work on linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents main points, but they could be developed further. Include more specific examples and further explanation to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Although you provided a conclusion, it was a bit repetitive and did not sum up your arguments effectively. Make sure your conclusion provides a clear summary of your arguments and restates your overall opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • cognitive development
  • social interactions
  • violent content
  • age-appropriate
  • healthy habits
  • attention span
  • media consumption
  • parental supervision
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