Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Television

is a mode of entertainment in families and over the years it has taken a significant place in everyone's life. Though adults have their responsibilities and preferences for office work so do not spend much

time

watching TV,

this

is not true for

children

and often after school, particularly in the absence of parents or guardians, they spend a lot of

time

this

. In

this

essay, I will describe some of the adverse effects of spending more than the required

time

Television

Firstly

, the most significant effect of excessive screen watching is on health.

Due to

a habit of continuous TV watch,

children

often miss physical activities and later lose interest in their sports.

Furthermore

, as they are often occupied for hours, just sitting and watching their favourite shows, it results in obesity and eye problems.

Moreover

, extreme watching

also

impairs concentration and sometimes a child develops a false perception and identity. A report from a paediatric unit of an Indian government hospital suggested an increase of 10% incidence of obesity in the

last

decade.

Nevertheless

, these days technology and media are playing a significant role in skill enhancements. Limited exposure to

television

-guided shows helps

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

remain aware of tech and their favourite shows.

This

way, they will not feel isolated

instead

it will help them remain encouraged and motivated for their work and develop a habit of setting priorities. I conclude that the negative effects of watching

television

are happening nowadays, that should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be reduced and my opinion is that

children

can watch

television

but the

time

should be reduced the spending many hours will be negative alternatively the

time

can be reduced that will be the best way for

this

problem.

Submitted by insighttribez on Wed Dec 27 2023

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task achievement

You have attempted to address the question, but your response lacks a clear position throughout the essay. Make sure your opinion is consistent and clear. State your position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates an effort to organize ideas; however, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and paragraphing could be more logical. Work on linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents main points, but they could be developed further. Include more specific examples and further explanation to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Although you provided a conclusion, it was a bit repetitive and did not sum up your arguments effectively. Make sure your conclusion provides a clear summary of your arguments and restates your overall opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Fully explain your ideas

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

In many countries, children are engaged paid in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong. while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. discuss both these views and give your opinion.