Some people think that competitive sports are important for a child education, others think that it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
modern era, sports
play significant
role in Add an article
a significant
kids
growth, Change noun form
kids'
kid's
however
; few individuals believe that sports
would be affect adversly on child`s development, which discussed
in Add a missing verb
is discussed
following
Correct article usage
the following
paragrahs
with some examples.
To commence with, nowadays most Correct your spelling
paragraphs
of
Change preposition
apply
kids
play video games and computer games, which will not increase their thinking skills and Add an article
the kids
strenght
because of Correct your spelling
strength
this
sports
Change the determiner
sport
is
important for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
youngones
. To Correct your spelling
young ones
elobrate
it, when a kid Correct your spelling
elaborate
celebrate
play
Change the verb form
plays
sports
like football and cricket at that time their adrenaline will increase, which help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
to
them in strategies and surge Change preposition
apply
them
power Correct pronoun usage
their
for playing
. Change preposition
to play
For example
, many schools and academic institues
arrange Correct your spelling
institutes
sports
period
and fairs because of Fix the agreement mistake
periods
this
many students take part in different playing activities. Moreover
, playing sports
is helpful for that
type of children who are Correct determiner usage
the
pursing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
in
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sports
, which will useful
them to make Replace the word
use
career
Add an article
a career
in particular
competitive games.
On the other hand
, sports
would be
affect on child`s behaviour negatively. To Unnecessary verb
apply
elobrate
it, when students play competitive Correct your spelling
illustrate
game
in school maybe sometimes they will take Fix the agreement mistake
games
take
revenge Remove the redundancy
apply
from
their opposite participant. Change preposition
on
As a result
, pupils see their opponents as a
Correct article usage
apply
revenger
which will Fix the agreement mistake
revengers
occure
Correct your spelling
occur
circumstances
of conflict. Change preposition
in circumstances
In addition
, if students will paly
Correct your spelling
play
sports
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
then
they would
not focus on Wrong verb form
will
study
very well. Wrong verb form
studying
For instance
, a pupil who play
football regularly but in exam time Change the verb form
plays
he
will not play it because of pressure from the family. Correct pronoun usage
apply
As a result
, his mind will rotate in that activity and he do
not concentrate in study.
In conclusion, I support Verb problem
will
former
view because playing Correct article usage
the former
activity is increase
the growth of Wrong verb form
activities increases
child
and Add an article
the child
a child
it
give refreshment and Correct pronoun usage
apply
surge
physical strength.Change the verb form
surges
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coherence cohesion
The essay contains a range of ideas related to the topic but it's not structured in a clear and logical way. You should work on creating well-organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more effective. Make a clear thesis statement in your intro, and make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a main idea, and supports that idea with evidence or examples. The essay seems to touch on relevant points but they are not elaborated on sufficiently or supported with specific examples.
task achievement
While you do address the topic, you need to make sure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Discuss both views thoroughly and provide a balanced consideration before giving your own opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be explained and developed more comprehensively. Avoid overgeneralizations and make sure to offer clear explanations for the points you make.
task achievement
Provide concrete, relevant examples to support your arguments. These examples should be specific and directly related to the points you are making, showing real-world implications or evidence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?