Some people think that competitive sports are important for a child education, others think that it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #child #education #effects

this

modern era,

sports

play

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

role in

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

growth,

however

; few individuals believe that

sports

would be affect adversly on child`s development, which

discussed

Add a missing verb

is discussed

show examples

following

Correct article usage

the following

show examples

paragrahs

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

with some examples. To commence with, nowadays most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids

Add an article

the kids

show examples

play video games and computer games, which will not increase their thinking skills and

strenght

Correct your spelling

strength

because of

this

sports

Change the determiner

sport

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

important for

youngones

Correct your spelling

young ones

. To

elobrate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

celebrate

it, when a kid

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

sports

like football and cricket at that time their adrenaline will increase, which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them in strategies and surge

them

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

power

for playing

Change preposition

to play

show examples

For example

, many schools and academic

institues

Correct your spelling

institutes

arrange

sports

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

and fairs because of

this

many students take part in different playing activities.

Moreover

, playing

sports

is helpful for

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

type of children who are

pursing

Correct your spelling

pursuing

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

, which will

useful

Replace the word

use

show examples

them to make

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

in particular

competitive games.

On the other hand

sports

would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

affect on child`s behaviour negatively. To

elobrate

Correct your spelling

illustrate

it, when students play competitive

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

in school maybe sometimes they will take

take

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

revenge

from

Change preposition

show examples

their opposite participant.

As a result

, pupils see their opponents as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

revenger

Fix the agreement mistake

revengers

show examples

which will

occure

Correct your spelling

occur

circumstances

Change preposition

in circumstances

show examples

of conflict.

In addition

, if students will

paly

Correct your spelling

play

show examples

sports

everyday

Correct your spelling

every day

show examples

then

they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not focus on

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

very well.

For instance

, a pupil who

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

football regularly but in exam time

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will not play it because of pressure from the family.

As a result

, his mind will rotate in that activity and he

Verb problem

will

show examples

not concentrate in study. In conclusion, I support

former

Correct article usage

the former

show examples

view because playing

activity is increase

Wrong verb form

activities increases

show examples

the growth of

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

give refreshment and

surge

Change the verb form

surges

show examples

physical strength.

Submitted by kathanpatel191 on Wed Dec 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay contains a range of ideas related to the topic but it's not structured in a clear and logical way. You should work on creating well-organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more effective. Make a clear thesis statement in your intro, and make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a main idea, and supports that idea with evidence or examples. The essay seems to touch on relevant points but they are not elaborated on sufficiently or supported with specific examples.

task achievement

While you do address the topic, you need to make sure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Discuss both views thoroughly and provide a balanced consideration before giving your own opinion.

task achievement

Your ideas need to be explained and developed more comprehensively. Avoid overgeneralizations and make sure to offer clear explanations for the points you make.

task achievement

Provide concrete, relevant examples to support your arguments. These examples should be specific and directly related to the points you are making, showing real-world implications or evidence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

**Positive Aspects Vocabulary:**
Teamwork, cooperation, community, discipline, time management, physical health, combat obesity, resilience, coping skills, self-esteem, confidence, well-being
**Negative Aspects Vocabulary:**
Pressure, stress, anxiety, detrimental impact, time commitment, academic pursuits, risk of injury, severe injuries, unhealthy competition, aggression, unsportsmanlike behavior, burnout, lose interest, motivation

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Some people think that competitive sports are important for a child education, others think that it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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