IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. Do you agree or disagree?

Radio
Use synonyms
 has been a part of my childhood. I used to listen to it
while
Linking Words
 helping my grandmother with dishes or working in the garage with my cousin. I remember those times through the voice of the
radio
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 station director, whose program was always on. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I’ll share my thoughts on whether
radio
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 is truly outdated. I have many great memories thanks to
Use synonyms
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, I used to listen to it
while
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 helping my grandpa with electronics, and I still remember the songs and programs we enjoyed together. These days, when I hear a familiar song, it reminds me of him.
However
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, those are just memories, and I’m not a very emotional person, so I can somewhat agree that
radio
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 is outdated. Today, we have platforms like Spotify and YouTube that offer thousands of playlists and podcasts. Some even have a
radio
Use synonyms
 feature that connects to nearby stations. Even though I agree to some extent, I still have mixed feelings.
Use synonyms
Radio
Add an article
The radio
show examples
 may be old and filled with ads and random songs you can’t skip, but that unpredictability is oddly comforting. The lack of control helps me relax and go with the flow—it’s freeing in a way.
Radio
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’s core function hasn’t changed: delivering news and entertainment. But I do believe smartphones do it better now.
Radio
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 has a bigger chance of malfunctions and depends heavily on station reliability,
whereas
Linking Words
 phones use satellites and are more secure. So,
while
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 I don’t mind having a
radio
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, I wouldn’t rely on it. I’d only use it to explore different stations and hopefully find a great podcast or song.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your stance in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Consider using phrases like 'I firmly believe that...' to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more depth in your points. For instance, instead of just mentioning that radio is 'old' or 'filled with ads,' you could discuss how these factors specifically impact listener experience and relevance in today's media landscape.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using transition phrases can help link your ideas and enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Add a summary statement in the conclusion to reinforce your opinion and summarize your argument, which helps to conclude your essay effectively.
task achievement
Your personal anecdotes provide a strong connection to the topic and engage the reader.
task achievement
You express a nuanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your informal style is relatable and invites readers into your experience with radio, adding a personal touch.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • out-of-date
  • relevant
  • portability
  • rural and remote areas
  • internet access
  • sense of community
  • local engagement
  • traditional radio
  • disseminating
  • crucial information
  • demographics
  • primary source
  • familiarity
  • ease of use
  • revitalized
  • internet radio
  • podcasts
  • diverse content
  • engaged in
  • emergency situations
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