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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The presented bar chart delineates the
gender's
Change noun form
gender
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 proportion between
the
Correct article usage
apply
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secondary and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher education in four regions. In general, it is conspicuous that in Europe the percentage of individuals studying in both educational institutions is the highest among others.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a different trend in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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gender type,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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men are the most significant number
in
Change preposition
of
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 adult students;
however
Linking Words
, in the school-aged
group
Add a comma
group,
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 they experience
conversely
Linking Words
. Turning to Europe and Sub-Saharan Africa, the number of pupils learning in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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secondary educational institutions is twice higher than
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 and all groups are dominated by
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Sub-Saharan Africa generates the lowest proportion in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary education (a fifth) compared to the rest category by just
across
Change preposition
apply
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20%. As regards the other observed regions, there is no difference between Latin America and East Asia in the number of pupils by approximately 40%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the spread between both adult sexes in Latin America is wider than
East
Change preposition
in East
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 Asia by 10%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the observed data reports that female students are less than
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 sex in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher education.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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