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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

#country #study
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In recent times, an increasing number of
individuals
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are
Verb problem
have
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opting
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opted
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 to pursue their studies in popular
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as Australia, Canada, and the United States of America.
This
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 trend is driven by the perceived advantages of international
education
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, which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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 a practical learning environment and enhanced preparation for entering the workforce in one's chosen field.
However
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, like any major decision, leaving one's
home
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 country for
education
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 comes with its own set of pros and cons.
To begin
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 with, studying abroad offers students a practical
education
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 system that goes beyond theoretical exposure.
This
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 hands-on approach can better equip them with the skills and knowledge needed for their future careers.
Moreover
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, the allure of better job opportunities and higher employment ratios in
countries
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 like Australia, Canada, and the United States often outweighs the limitations of educational systems in some
home
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countries
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, where theory may dominate and unemployment rates can be high. On the flip side, the decision to migrate for
education
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 entails leaving behind essential support systems,
such
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 as family and familiar social networks.
This
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 departure may lead to a compromise on social life, as
individuals
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 grapple with the challenges of adapting to a new environment.
Additionally
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, everyday tasks that were once taken for granted may become more challenging, as outsourcing services that were readily available at
home
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 may be less accessible abroad.
Furthermore
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, settling in a foreign land requires
individuals
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 to embrace cultural changes, from managing daily chores to balancing full-time studies with part-time work.
This
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 adjustment can be demanding, as adapting to a new lifestyle and societal norms may pose unforeseen challenges.
Nevertheless
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, these cultural shifts are often seen as part of the holistic learning experience that comes with international
education
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. In conclusion, the decision to study abroad demands a delicate balance between the advantages of a superior
education
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 system and promising career opportunities and the sacrifices of leaving behind familial support, compromising on social life, and adapting to cultural changes.
While
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 pursuing
education
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 in popular
countries
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 may open doors to a brighter future,
individuals
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 must be prepared to navigate the complexities of life away from
home
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 and make compromises to fully reap the benefits of their overseas educational experience.
Submitted by patel.bhavesh870 on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that the response addresses all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. While the presented content touches on the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, it could be enhanced by incorporating more specific examples to reinforce and illustrate the main points. Doing so will provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, maintain a logical structure throughout the essay. While the essay has a strong introduction and conclusion and presents ideas in a logical order, consider elaborating on the main points with more developed supporting arguments. Additionally, improve the connectivity of ideas by using a wider range of transition words and phrases to better link sentences and paragraphs, thus achieving a more cohesive and coherent response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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