Climate change is the biggest threat to life on our planet. How accurate is this statement? Is there any other big threat to mankind?

Many argue that climate change is the biggest problem our planet is facing.
This
essay agrees with
this
statement;
however
, it is
also
clear that overpopulation has become a significant threat as well. Over the past decade, the changes related to climate have become increasingly apparent. The average temperature on the planet has risen by up to 1.5 degrees Celsius, and
this
has already caused a domino effect of natural disasters worldwide;
this
problem is
also
known as "global warming."
Thus
, oceans are getting warmer, resulting in an alternation of global oceanic currents, which leads to severe weather conditions around the globe.
For instance
, in the southern United States, the frequency and severity of hurricanes and tornadoes have increased, leading to catastrophic consequences where millions of people are left homeless and even entire cities are devastated. The number of people on Earth is rising, leading to overpopulation. To cope with
this
trend, governments need to intensify the development of agricultural sectors and increase the amount of food production to meet growing demands.
Furthermore
, vast areas of forests and swamps must be converted into fields to grow more crops.
Consequently
,
this
leads to detrimental effects on nature.
For example
, in Kazakhstan, a growing population forced the authorities to take extra actions in developing additional areas for harvesting, which resulted in the depletion of water resources in the Aral Sea, almost causing the entire sea to disappear completely. In conclusion, climate change has a huge impact on the planet, altering the lives of millions in unpleasant ways;
however
, the problems related to overpopulation
also
need to be considered as one of the biggest threats.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

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General
Keep providing clear, relevant examples to support your points, as this strengthens your argument.
Language Use
To further improve, consider exploring more diverse linguistic structures and a wider range of vocabulary to convey your ideas even more effectively.
Coherence/Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph directly support the central idea.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets up your stance and previews the essay's structure, which is excellent for reader orientation.
Supporting Examples
Your use of examples, such as the specific impacts of climate change and overpopulation, is particularly effective and strengthens your argument.
Coherence/Cohesion
The essay maintains good coherence and cohesion throughout, with a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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