IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantagous?

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In light of the proliferation of technology, there will be no more autonomous vehicles in the future.
While
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 there are some benefits associated with the advent of
driverless
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 cars, I believe the main drawbacks are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential advantage of
driverless
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 vehicles may be bringing the opportunity of driving for specific groups of
people
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 who are unable to drive
due to
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 their physical status or law.
For instance
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, many elderly
people
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 find it difficult to drive and travel.
As a result
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,
this
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 situation may lead to mental problems
such
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 as depression.
Furthermore
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, the state-of-the-art means of transport will make it easy for disabled
people
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 or children who are under 18 to enjoy travelling and will bring them a sense of satisfaction. Another perceived benefit is that
people
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 can allocate time for other activities rather than driving their cars.
For example
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, relying on modern technology they can just sit and enjoy the view
as well as
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 surf on the Internet or even sleep.
On the other hand
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, a primary disadvantage of auto-driving automobiles is a significant increase in the unemployment rate in society. From an economic perspective, transportation companies prefer to choose
driverless
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 transport in order to gain more profits.
Consequently
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, a vast number of society members whose source of revenue is associated with self-driving services are more likely to lose their jobs.
Therefore
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, they cannot provide their families with their basic needs. A
further
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 negative is that most nations find it complicated to use
such
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 cutting-edge automation. Since a majority of society members are unfamiliar with modern software, governments should raise public awareness about the usage of the new technology. If communities are oblivious to using the related software appropriately, adverse consequences would happen
such
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 as unexpected accidents, especially in rush hours. In conclusion, it is true that
driverless
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 cars would seem advantageous under certain circumstances.
However
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, in my view, its negative effects in terms of unemployment and its adverse consequences override the advantages.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay to improve coherence. To achieve this, include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and make sure every subsequent sentence directly supports the topic sentence. Also, transitions between points can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but can be strengthened. An ideal introduction should paraphrase the question and outline the main points that you will discuss, while your conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments and state your opinion clearly, without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but for a higher score, aim to develop each point further with more detailed examples, statistics, or real-world scenarios to illustrate your arguments. This will help make your essay more convincing and robust.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in terms of task achievement, make sure to directly address the question throughout the essay and fully develop your arguments. Cover all parts of the prompt and demonstrate a balance of ideas both for and against the topic, while also delivering a strong personal stance.
task achievement
To express clear and comprehensive ideas, plan your essay with bullet points before you start writing. Organize your thoughts so that each paragraph contains a coherent point or argument that relates to the overall topic. A clear layout will make your essay more comprehensible and impactful.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples that support your perspective on the topic. Your examples should be detailed and ideally drawn from a wide range of sources. This demonstrates not only the breadth of your knowledge but also enhances the persuasiveness of your argument.
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