In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access.

People hold varying opinions on how to aid
children
in rural areas regarding their access to education.
While
some advocate for expanding internet connectivity and providing computers as a temporary solution, I believe that establishing new
schools
and hiring more
teachers
is the more effective long-term measure. On one hand, there is merit in the argument that extending the Internet network and supplying computers offer
children
in remote regions immediate opportunities to approach education.
This
is the reason why those online education tools provide students with a diverse range of subjects and information thanks to a wealth of information available online.
This
is true that online learning enables learners to tailor their learning to individual preferences. Online platforms
such
as an online newspaper “National Geographic” and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
video website ”YouTube” offer diverse content suitable for various age groups. That being said, I would side with those who that constructing more
schools
and employing additional
teachers
would permanently solve the problem.
This
is because only traditional
schools
can create a studying environment conducive to comprehensive scholastic development. In these settings,
teachers
play a significant role in guiding students through their assignments with appropriate guidance, which sets the deadline or teaches how to prioritize their tasks.
Accordingly
, pupils can come to raise their self-discipline abilities with the help of supporters, achieving a successful outcome in their studies.
Furthermore
, traditional classrooms encourage students to actively form social networks, unlike the virtual world. Making friends and competing with their peers contribute to student’s personal and academic growth.
Above all
, peer interactions provide numerous chances to share mutual concerns in the same generation by empathizing with one another and gaining creative solutions from their classmates when
children
are unable to navigate challenges during their school lives.
In addition
to that,
this
type of teaching is seen as a great stimulus for scholastic success because healthy rivalry with classmates encourages learners to strive for excellence. In conclusion, it seems to me that it is best to construct
schools
and employ
teachers
in the countryside,
instead
of depending on technology to bring about educational opportunities for
children
in
such
places.
Submitted by uzookim on

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Task achievement
To improve your task response, make sure to address all parts of the question fully. While you provide a clear opinion and discuss two views, incorporating more specific examples relating to the impact of both solutions on rural education would strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance your coherence and cohesion by varying your linking words and phrases more. You've established a logical structure, but employing a wider range of cohesive devices can make transitions between ideas smoother and more sophisticated.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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