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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The column chart illustrates how Australians bought and drank
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks in five cities, based on the results of a survey.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 among
people
Use synonyms
 in Australia
,
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apply
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 is less popular. Most
city
Use synonyms
 dwellers went to a café for
coffee
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 or tea and in just one
city
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,
people
Use synonyms
 mostly bought instant
coffee
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 in comparison with others. It can be observed from the chart that Australians were less interested in buying fresh
coffee
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. Most of the
city
Use synonyms
 dwellers who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 are living in Sydney and the corresponding figure is roughly 43%.
However
Linking Words
, the percentages of Brisbane and Adelaide residents who are drawn to drinking fresh
coffee
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, are the lowest at just under 35%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, except
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people
Change preposition
for people
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 who live in Adelaide, most Australians
went
Wrong verb form
go
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 to a café in order to have a cup of
coffee
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 or tea. The highest proportion of
people
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 with
this
Linking Words
 habit
,
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apply
show examples
 stood at approximately 63%, and is associated with two cities, Melbourne and Hobart. Interestingly, Adelaide is the only
city
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 where its residents, nearly 50% of them, preferred to buy instant
coffee
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.
Submitted by mahtab.motevallian on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, people, city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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