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Writing Samples
Band 7

These days, more and more people prefer to use shared transport such as buses, trams or carsharing applications on their smartphones rather than driving their own cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

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Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals opt to take public transit or carpool using smartphone applications
instead
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 of driving their own vehicles. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages if fewer
people
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 travel using their own personal automobiles. On the one hand, trips may become less pleasant and less safe if the number of
people
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 who choose to use public transport or carpool is on the rise.
Firstly
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, bus and metro users are highly likely to experience more discomfort
due to
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 densely packed
cars
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 during peak transit hours
in particular
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.
For example
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, most travellers on city buses and metro trains would probably have to stand and
would
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apply
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bump into others during their journey, causing them to feel uncomfortable.
Secondly
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, personal safety might be compromised when using car-sharing services. In fact, when sharing
cars
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 with drivers who are random strangers, safety is never a 100
percent
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per cent
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 guarantee.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 can reap the benefits of a cleaner environment and shorter travelling times if public transit and car-sharing systems become more and more popular. For a start, a decrease in the number of
cars
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 on the road can lead to a drop in the amount of exhaust fumes emitted into the
air
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, and
thus
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 better
air
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 quality and, eventually, milder global temperatures.
That is
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 because harmful gases
such
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 as CO and CO2, which are emitted by fossil-fuel
cars
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, are responsible for
air
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 pollution and global warming.
In addition
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, traffic would be lighter because carrying more
people
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 in one vehicle means that there would be fewer
cars
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 on the road.
As a result
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, individuals could avoid traffic jams and reach their destinations more quickly. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the positive effects of sharing modes of transport like buses, trains, and carpooling outweigh the negative ones because the public can benefit from fresher
air
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 and faster journeys.
Therefore
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, the use of public transport and shared rides should be encouraged by any means.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea and use cohesive devices effectively to link these ideas together. You should develop your main points more fully with additional supporting sentences.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your opinions and ideas directly respond to each and every aspect of the prompt given, and provide specific examples to illustrate your points where necessary.
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