You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
argue that most of the individual's first preference is to watch TV
in their leisure time
, which makes them inactive and also
stops them from socialising with other people
. This
essay will
discuss the points in favour of the argument, as I too agree on
the statement.
Change preposition
with
Firstly
, watching TV
is the most preferred activity of an individual in their leisure time
. Nowdays
, Television provides lots of and all Correct the word
Nowadays
sort
of content, ranging Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
form
comedy, thriller, horror, action, romance and many more. Television has given access to Correct your spelling
from
consume
all Verb problem
apply
sort
of content which is very
engaging and entertaining. So an individual's first priority in their free Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
time
is watching TV
. For instance
, a report says that people
spend over 60% of their free time
on
watching Change preposition
apply
TV
.
Secondly
, such
kind of activity is making humans lazy and also
stoping
them from mingling with others. As Correct your spelling
stopping
TV
is a
very engaging, viewers do not focus on playing sports and Correct article usage
apply
also
stopped
Wrong verb form
stop
people
from socialising. Playing sports can lead to an active lifestyle and also
a sport help
to mingle with
other player which is a very effective way of socialising. Change the form of the verb
helps
For instance
, people
who play outdoor games are more physically fit and are also
very socialised. Thus
, watching TV
has made people
lazy and it has also
put a break on the viewer for socialising with other humans.
In conclusion, TV
tends to gain more viewer's time
which as a result makes the viewer slothful and isolated from rest
of the world.Correct article usage
the rest
Submitted by adarsh.deore12322 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
You demonstrated an adequate logical structure in your essay; however, transitions between ideas were sometimes abrupt. Utilize a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were present, but they could be more fully developed to clearly present your thesis and summarily encapsulate your arguments respectively. Aim for concise yet comprehensive introductory and concluding paragraphs for a greater impact.
coherence cohesion
While you did support your main points, there is room for improvement in the development of your arguments. Implement more detailed explanations and a wider range of examples to substantiate your points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task; nonetheless, some areas lack thorough exploration. Consolidate your response by delving deeper into the topic, thoroughly answering all parts of the prompt, and sustaining a focused position throughout.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensible, yet strive for greater clarity and more comprehensive development to enhance the overall quality of your essay. Avoid repetition and include clear, distinct points that support your argument effectively.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is integral to fortifying your arguments, but they must be detailed and fully relevant to the topic. Incorporate more specific and varied instances to better illustrate your points and engage the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
