Nowadays, people all over the world are watching foreign films much more than locally produced films. Why? Should government give more financial support to the local film industry? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In
this
technological age, rather than watching
films
or
series
produced in their home countries, a considerable number of individuals across the globe divert to bringe watch other countries'
films
. In my perspective, I advocate the idea that
this
phenomenon is an imperative issue which is needed to be cracked and identified the root of
this
problem.
Moreover
, the investment supported by a local government is
also
crucial to solve
this
particular problem.
This
essay will deeply examine the causes and how financial supported by an authority is needed which be decribe in the following paragraph: First and foremost, in
this
digital era, more and more online movie platforms are available for everyone to watch from their home. To clarify, these online platforms,
such
as Netflix, Youtube, and Prime video, gather myriad of
films
and
series
originated from across the globe to their use to bringe watch unlimitedly with an affordable price, and thereby various foreign movies can be easier to reach and understand, thanks to unless universal langauges of subtitle provided in those platforms. Take Netflix
for example
; there are a huge number of Korean
series
on Netflix which allows foreign people to see those
films
globlely with subtitile in countless langauges: English, Japanese, and so on, with only 5 US dollars cost mounthly.
Although
not because of the fault of local
film
industries that make people find their countries'
film
less interested, governments should still invest their revenue to develop their
film
making industries. Korean government,
for example
, are now making their KPOP industy become renown by granting a huge afford to help the movie production owners to enhance their
film
-making quality by buying their stock, and thereby getting a huge income from that industry which is highly paid-off.
To conclude
, despite prefering to watch foreign
series
because of the convinent and payable price, governments still need to invest their funds in the local
film
to develop the content and quality of
film
industries.
Submitted by giftsuvichaya1702 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion, which is good. However, to improve your coherence and cohesion, you should focus on organizing your ideas more logically. They should flow naturally from one to the next with clear paragraphing signifying shifts in focus or argument. Make better use of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Response
For task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task. You have started to do this but could provide a more in-depth exploration of why people prefer foreign films and how government investment could help. Include a wider range of ideas and make sure that your points are clear and comprehensive. More detailed examples could strengthen your argument significantly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cinematography
  • subtitles
  • blockbusters
  • filmography
  • cultural heritage
  • tax incentives
  • subsidies
  • artisanal
  • local talent
  • culturally resonant
  • mainstream media
  • diversify
  • cross-cultural
  • film festivals
  • streaming platforms
  • censorship
  • protectionism
  • audience demographics
  • critical acclaim
  • artisanal cinema
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