IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were on board. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives #board #reason
With the development of means of travel and transportation,
people
 no longer care about the length of the distance as before. most folks spend their lives in the lands where they were born. In
this
 essay, I will explain the reasons that prompted
people
 to stay in their countries. In
this
 essay, I will explain
as well as
 the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 subject.
To begin
 with, One of the reasons that prevent the public from moving to other states is the availability of all the basic services necessary for life around them.
For example
, some entities take insurance fees in exchange for providing these services. The other reason is that some individuals cannot afford travel and accommodation costs. An example of
this
 are village residents and low-income
people
.
On the other hand
, many pros make
people
 stick to their homelands and not move to other regions. The significant reason is that you will be close to your family and relatives,
thus
 you will be reassured about them and you will not become preoccupied.
For instance
, there are some individuals who if they transported from one place to another, become more vulnerable to anxiety and stress.
In addition
, you will not need to adapt yourself to a new environment.
For example
, some
people
 need a certain period to get used to the new place. If the weather is different, they may cancel the idea of ​​
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 altogether. Speaking of the negatives, you will not be able to explore a new environment
as well as
 customs and traditions.
furthermore
, some parts of the world don't provide genuine job opportunities, which means that the individual will not make much money or become an unemployed individual. In conclusion,
although
 moving to another habitat may seem like a great notion to improve chances and quality of life, some drawbacks may force
people
 to stay in the place where they grew up.
Submitted by M on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, without unnecessary repetition or detail.
paragraphs
Develop paragraphs that have a clear main idea supported by explanations and examples.
linking
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
conclusion
End the essay with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.
grammar
Avoid grammatical errors and use a range of sentence structures.
task response
Respond to all parts of the question and ensure your essay remains on topic throughout.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: