IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#libraries #waste #money #computer #technology #functions
It is often argued that maintaining public
libraries
 is no longer necessary in today’s world because the development of computer technology has allowed us to access a great deal of
information
 on the internet more efficiently.
While
 I accept that there are clear benefits of online
libraries
 over public
libraries
, I believe that it is still worth spending money on maintaining public
libraries
. There are two main advantages of online
sources
 of
information
.
Firstly
, online
sources
 can store a huge amount of
information
that is
 greater than any physical library.
This
 allows researchers to easily get the
information
 they need without having to travel to a local library.
Furthermore
, people can look for
information
 on the Internet whenever they want,
while
 most
libraries
 can only be visited for several hours per day.
This
 is
therefore
 particularly beneficial to those who have a hectic schedule and cannot visit these places during operating hours.
However
, the preservation of local
libraries
 is still necessary because of their distinguishing features which cannot be substituted by online
sources
.
Libraries
, in some countries, are still one of the most popular means of accessing
information
 among senior citizens, regardless of the availability of online
information
. In fact, most elderly people these days are technophobes and
therefore
 physical
libraries
 are their preferred option.
Furthermore
, public
libraries
 can be considered a more reliable source of
information
, compared with online
sources
. Indeed, there is an abundance of inaccurate and unreliable
information
 on the Internet,
while
libraries
 have proved to be a more reliable
information
 source, with the
information
 being carefully categorized by library staff members. In conclusion, despite the benefits of computer technology in providing
information
, in my opinion, there are good grounds for rejecting the view that spending money on maintaining public
libraries
 is unnecessary.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your position regarding the essay's prompt. It's important to not only acknowledge the counter argument but also establish your thesis statement early on.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a logical flow between paragraphs by using cohesive devices effectively. Transition sentences could be employed more smoothly to guide the reader from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples. Specific experiences, data, or case studies will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You should endeavor to balance the essay by equally developing both sides of the argument before drawing a conclusion that reflects the analysis presented throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The coherence of the essay would benefit from a conclusive statement that not only restates your position but also succinctly summarizes the key points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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