People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?
Nowadays, the public in many states is spending less
time
with their family. I believe that it was caused by some reasons such
as the existence of high working hours
and their office
has long distances from their home.
Firstly
, At the current time
, many individuals have high working hours
at their office
. Because of these issues, many employees have restricted time
to gather with family. Most of them have duties to spend their time
doing responsibilities according to
the job description regulations. Based on the fact, workers
stay at the workplace for 8 hours
a day. Sometimes, if they are asked by the leader to finish additional tasks, they will come back late. It makes them go home at night and they can not interact with their spouse or children. For example
, professionals that
contribute to the finance or banking field have almost 9 Correct pronoun usage
who
office
hours
, they do not have enough time
to spend and communicate with their relative's members
because when they arrive, the all of members are sleeping.
Change noun form
relatives
Secondly
, In some cases, the office
where they work is a long distance from their house. This
condition often happens in the big cities that recruit workers
who come from rural areas. Because of the existence of long distances, workers
have limited chances to visit their origin place to see their family. The majority of them look at their family at a particular time
such
as once a month or just on public holidays. Additionally
, the journey to come back to their house is disturbed by congestion, so they have to genuinely look for the best time
to meet their relatives. For example
, the workers
are in metropolitan cities namely Jakarta, they have a chance to go home only during the Eid holidays.
In conclusion, in some states, the public is spending less time
with their family it was caused by several reasons such
as the existence of high working hours
, which leads them to have a finite time
to interact with their family, and is also
induced by the long distances from their office
to house which causes to possess limited opportunity to visit their family.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, but it would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both causes and effects. You should develop your ideas further to fully address the task, including a specific conclusion that sums up the arguments presented.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical sequence, but transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the overall structure should be more clear with better paragraphing. Work on your cohesive devices and use of paragraphs to structure your argument more effectively. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow and clarity.
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