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Band 7.5

More and more people choose to travel alone. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #trend
Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of people who choose to journey on their own.
While
 there is clearly a drawback to
this
, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant. On the one hand, there are various safety dangers
while
 travelling alone. Incidents during journeys are inevitable.
However
, that incident could have brought some serious consequences because the victim was alone.
For example
, if we are giving ourselves some personal moment to travel to a foreign country and
then
 we have a fever, it will be terrible when we are not clear about the medical support, are not treated promptly and receive some dangerous complications.
This
 is just one of the common problems that can occur during personal excursion so many people think that travelling alone is too risky and challenging.
On the other hand
, the benefits of solo driving outweigh its disadvantages.
To begin
 with, travelling alone helps us focus completely on the trip alone.
For instance
, we can spend all our day exploring local cuisine, playing challenging games or simply changing places for a full night's sleep
instead
 of having to divide that time
while
 travelling crowded. That will help our trip become more free and complete than ever.
Besides
 that, travelling alone is a rare opportunity to practice independence and time management skills.
This
 is the age when we are out of our comfort zone, forced to adapt to unfamiliar things and learn how to handle any problems without the help of others. All those new experiences will quickly make us more independent and brave. In conclusion, travelling alone has many benefits that outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by nguyenminhan.headoflion on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthening topic sentences for each paragraph can enhance clarity and coherence. For example, clearly stating the main idea at the beginning of each paragraph helps guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Using varied sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary can improve lexical resource and grammatical range. Avoiding repetition and providing a broader range of linguistic elements would be beneficial.
task achievement
Providing more relevant and specific examples would strengthen the arguments presented. For instance, citing statistics or well-known cases can add more weight to your points.
task achievement
Ensuring a balance between discussing advantages and disadvantages more evenly can lead to a more comprehensive response. Expanding on the disadvantages a bit further while maintaining the depth of discussion on advantages would be helpful.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reinforces the argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
The points raised for the benefits of solo travel are strong and well-explained, making them persuasive to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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