Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young.

#celebrities #glamor #wealth #achievements #sets

It is often claimed that stars are popular now

due to

their glamour lifestyle, not personal or professional achievements. I completely agree with

this

point, broadcasting nice pictures of rich life without any effort makes young people lazy and gives them wrong expectations. Nowadays, many bloggers become popular among young people because of trendy videos and algorithms on special platforms,

for instance

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apply

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TikTok and Instagram.

Hence

, they live in bloggers’ homes making videos with other bloggers and celebrities. Their main source of income is selling commercials to their audience. Most of

such

stars do not even finish school and, of course, they do not plan to get a higher education at university because they have already earned enough money for a comfortable life. From my point of view, their behaviour influences teenagers' decisions about building a future career.

Therefore

, most children watching

such

bloggers dream about popularity without any effort just by making videos.

For instance

, one of

such

bloggers’ houses is called ‘Dream Team’, it has millions of followers and influences on many children the way I have described before. The other reason why celebrities’ behaviour is a bad example for teenagers is using scandals in order to gain more popularity. Sometimes their actions are inappropriate and uncultural, so children and teenagers watching it do not realize what is right and what is wrong.

For example

, popular Russian singer Instasamka takes part in scandals, behaves rudely at concerts and insults fans. I believe it is a bad example for the younger generation. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is really important to motivate young people to achieve goals and do good things. Unfortunately, most celebrities now show absolutely different pictures. They follow

this

strategy in order to become more popular and do not think about an influence on their followers and about consequences.

Submitted by ddoiron on Sat Dec 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Consistently use complex structures and a variety of linking words to improve the flow and cohesion of the essay.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young.

Fully explain your ideas

you have been offered a job overseas that you applied for. Write a letter to your friend who is already knows about that job as well. .Tell what kind of job it is .explain why you applied for this job .ask your friend about the country

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Technology)

In many countries, people now wear Western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?