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Band 7

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young.

#celebrities #glamor #wealth #achievements #sets
It is often claimed that stars are popular now
due to
 their glamour lifestyle, not personal or professional achievements. I completely agree with
this
 point, broadcasting nice pictures of rich life without any effort makes young people lazy and gives them wrong expectations. Nowadays, many bloggers become popular among young people because of trendy videos and algorithms on special platforms,
for instance
,
as
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apply
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TikTok and Instagram.
Hence
, they live in bloggers’ homes making videos with other bloggers and celebrities. Their main source of income is selling commercials to their audience. Most of
such
 stars do not even finish school and, of course, they do not plan to get a higher education at university because they have already earned enough money for a comfortable life. From my point of view, their behaviour influences teenagers' decisions about building a future career.
Therefore
, most children watching
such
 bloggers dream about popularity without any effort just by making videos.
For instance
, one of
such
 bloggers’ houses is called ‘Dream Team’, it has millions of followers and influences on many children the way I have described before. The other reason why celebrities’ behaviour is a bad example for teenagers is using scandals in order to gain more popularity. Sometimes their actions are inappropriate and uncultural, so children and teenagers watching it do not realize what is right and what is wrong.
For example
, popular Russian singer Instasamka takes part in scandals, behaves rudely at concerts and insults fans. I believe it is a bad example for the younger generation. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is really important to motivate young people to achieve goals and do good things. Unfortunately, most celebrities now show absolutely different pictures. They follow
this
 strategy in order to become more popular and do not think about an influence on their followers and about consequences.
Submitted by ddoiron on

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coherence cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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