Some people prefer hobbies that involve the use of technology, while others enjoy hobbies that do not require any technological devices. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

6.5 / 9

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Introduction

Some

people

Use synonyms

enjoy

hobbies

Use synonyms

in their free time that use technology,

whereas

Linking Words

others spend their free time on activities that are not technological. In my view, both are valuable. Technological

hobbies

Use synonyms

are fine in moderation, but

people

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also

Linking Words

need offline

hobbies

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so that they do not become addicted.

Body paragraph 1

Most technological

hobbies

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do not require physical movement

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as standing or running, and some

Body paragraph 2

individuals

Capitalize the word

Individuals

show examples

become addicted to them with very little physical activity.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can lead to both physical and mental problems. Physically, it can lead to obesity if they do not eat healthily. Mentally, some individuals may develop anxiety because they feel stressed by video games or are bullied online.

This

Linking Words

is why offline

hobbies

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such

Linking Words

as sport or reading are important, as they balance screen time and keep

people

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physically and mentally healthy.

Body paragraph 3

However

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, some technological

hobbies

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involve physical movement.

For example

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, virtual-reality games involve a significant amount of movement and burn calories

while

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being fun.

Moreover

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, if someone is bullied

while

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playing, they can simply mute or block the bully and never see them again. Online games

also

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allow

people

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to make friends from different countries, which can be especially valuable for those who find socialising in person difficult.

Hobbies

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such

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as video editing or coding can

also

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teach useful skills that may later lead to a career.

Conclusion

In conclusion, both types of

hobbies

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have value. Technological

hobbies

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can be social, useful and even physically active, but they should be balanced with offline activities to prevent addiction and protect

people

Use synonyms

's health.

mmssms10

Sep 29, 2026

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task response

You discuss both kinds of hobbies and give a clear view. To make the answer stronger, explain more fully why non-tech hobbies are good in their own right, not only as a way to cut screen time.

task response

Some points are too general. For example, add one short, real example of a sport, reading group, art class, coding project, or game, and show its result.

task response

The point about online bullying is not fully balanced. Blocking a person can help, but it may not solve all harm. State this in a more careful way.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end. The order is easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Make the first main part focus more clearly on non-tech hobbies. At present, much of it is about the bad side of tech hobbies, so the two views do not get equal space.

coherence and cohesion

Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each body part. For example: “Non-tech hobbies can improve health and real-life contact.” This will make the plan even clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words such as “also”, “for this reason”, “in contrast”, and “as a result”, but do not use too many links in one sentence.

task response

Your main view is clear: tech hobbies can be useful, but they should be mixed with offline activities.

task response

You give useful reasons, such as health, social contact, learning skills, and possible future work.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion match well, and the conclusion clearly brings the main ideas together.

coherence and cohesion

The second body part uses clear examples, such as virtual reality, online games, video editing, and coding.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

257 words

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