Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is true that a healthy body not only in physical form but

also

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in mental

health

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can build through a

person

Use synonyms

with a good healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

However

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, an argument is rising among the public on whether it is hard or easy for some individuals to maintain

Remove the article

apply

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good well-being in

this

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busy era.In

this

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essay, I will discuss both sides of

this

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issue and provide my own opinion

along with

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a conclusion.

To begin

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with, no one can deny that technologies are constantly on the rise and advanced technology helps us keep up with a good track of healthy habits.

For example

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, it is easy for everyone to download online workout programs or fitness apps on their Smartphone so that they can easily do their exercise without wasting their time or money on gym memberships.

Moreover

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, a regular fitness regime can bring good

health

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conditions to an individual and prevent chronic illnesses

such

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as heart disease and obesity.

Thus

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, WHO research shows that a

person

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who exercises regularly has greater mental

health

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and emotional well-being and can increase longevity.

On the other hand

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, a workaholic

person

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who works compulsively may have difficulty maintaining a healthy

lifestyle

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because of busy work schedules and poor time management .

Initially

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this

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will lead to bad dietary choices.

For instance

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, a

person

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who works twice as

harder

Correct word choice

hard

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as others usually

choose

Correct subject-verb agreement

chooses

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convenience foods

such

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as packaged food or fast food with high calories and sugar

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due

Change preposition

because

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cost-effective

Add a missing verb

are cost-effective

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,time-saving and more convenient but

as a result

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, a negative impact on

health

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issues may occur like diabetes , mental

health

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disorders and others. In conclusion, how people decide to preserve their

health

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depends on their choices but the

gorvenment

Correct your spelling

government

governments

and companies should promote public

health

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campaigns and provide preventive healthcare to

aimed

Wrong verb form

aim

show examples

toward a healthier

lifestyle

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for the community.In my opinion, it is very important for everyone to stay healthy to maintain a good quality

lifestyle

Use synonyms

tifjongSun Dec 31 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure a logical flow of ideas by improving transitions between paragraphs, and consistently use signposting language to guide the reader through your discussion. Avoid abrupt shifts in the argument without clear connections.

Task Response

Provide a clearer introductory paragraph that directly addresses the prompt, establishing a thesis statement that outlines the forthcoming discussion. Your conclusion must restate this thesis and the arguments provided, not introduce new information.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
caloric intake
processed foods
dietary choices
fitness regimen
nutritional awareness
chronic diseases
preventative healthcare
lifestyle diseases
well-being
metabolic rate
food deserts
healthy eating habits
bioavailability
physical activity
body mass index (BMI)
cardiovascular health
mental resilience
exercise regimen
holistic lifestyle

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Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Art classes such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree on disagree ?

Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Most people could not go to work in quarantine period and stayed at home due to the Covid-19 pandemic. What problems lockdown may arise, and how can these problems be tackled.

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reaons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.