Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#today’s #world #people #lifestyle

It is true that a healthy body not only in physical form but

also

in mental

health

can build through a

person

with a good healthy

lifestyle

However

, an argument is rising among the public on whether it is hard or easy for some individuals to maintain

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good well-being in

this

busy era.In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of

this

issue and provide my own opinion

along with

a conclusion.

To begin

with, no one can deny that technologies are constantly on the rise and advanced technology helps us keep up with a good track of healthy habits.

For example

, it is easy for everyone to download online workout programs or fitness apps on their Smartphone so that they can easily do their exercise without wasting their time or money on gym memberships.

Moreover

, a regular fitness regime can bring good

health

conditions to an individual and prevent chronic illnesses

such

as heart disease and obesity.

Thus

, WHO research shows that a

person

who exercises regularly has greater mental

health

and emotional well-being and can increase longevity.

On the other hand

, a workaholic

person

who works compulsively may have difficulty maintaining a healthy

lifestyle

because of busy work schedules and poor time management .

Initially

this

will lead to bad dietary choices.

For instance

, a

person

who works twice as

harder

Correct word choice

hard

show examples

as others usually

choose

Correct subject-verb agreement

chooses

show examples

convenience foods

such

as packaged food or fast food with high calories and sugar

due

Change preposition

because

show examples

cost-effective

Add a missing verb

are cost-effective

show examples

,time-saving and more convenient but

as a result

, a negative impact on

health

issues may occur like diabetes , mental

health

disorders and others. In conclusion, how people decide to preserve their

health

depends on their choices but the

gorvenment

Correct your spelling

government

governments

and companies should promote public

health

campaigns and provide preventive healthcare to

aimed

Wrong verb form

aim

show examples

toward a healthier

lifestyle

for the community.In my opinion, it is very important for everyone to stay healthy to maintain a good quality

lifestyle

Submitted by tifjong on Sun Dec 31 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure a logical flow of ideas by improving transitions between paragraphs, and consistently use signposting language to guide the reader through your discussion. Avoid abrupt shifts in the argument without clear connections.

Task Response

Provide a clearer introductory paragraph that directly addresses the prompt, establishing a thesis statement that outlines the forthcoming discussion. Your conclusion must restate this thesis and the arguments provided, not introduce new information.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
caloric intake
processed foods
dietary choices
fitness regimen
nutritional awareness
chronic diseases
preventative healthcare
lifestyle diseases
well-being
metabolic rate
food deserts
healthy eating habits
bioavailability
physical activity
body mass index (BMI)
cardiovascular health
mental resilience
exercise regimen
holistic lifestyle

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Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.