IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think is it a positive or nagetive development?

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In some nations, renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 is an incentive to use
although
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 non-renewable is the primary source. I personally believe that
this
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 tendency has brought a positive development. Petrol, gas, and natural gas are the main sources of worldwide
due to
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 their inexpensive cost.
However
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,
this
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energy
Use synonyms
 causes air pollution because of the release of splurge a ton of carbon emissions and puts a high risk on the environment. Leading to the severe environmental problem.
For example
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, The capital Ha Noi Viet Nam is alarmed at the air pollution results from the toxic gas emitted daily from vehicles including motorbikes, cars, and buses.
Consequently
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, people suffer from many health diseases
such
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 as respiratory, asthma, and lung cancer. Nowadays, solar, wind, and water power are encouraged to be utilized, it is seen as a green initiative
due to
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 it being an environmentally-friendly
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
source
show examples
.
This
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 is abundant and free of carbon emissions, helping limit air pollution effectively and reduce illness for people. Many developed countries have applied
this
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 power nationwide.
For instance
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, in Germany, Solar and wind
energy
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 is used in 80% of the nation.
Nevertheless
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, the high cost and depending on the weather changes are disadvantages of
this
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energy
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. In spite of its limitations, people have found
solving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
solutions by improving technology by inventing batteries and
energy
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 storage technologies. Those can help us use more effective green and plentiful power. In conclusion, the use of alternative
energy
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged and replaced gradually to protect Mother Earth and alleviate sickness through comprehending modern advancement

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you structure your essay in a clear, logical manner. Use connectors and transitional phrases appropriately to link ideas and paragraphs seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with relevant examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response is complete. Make sure to clearly express your opinion on the extent to which you believe it is a positive or negative development, providing a balanced discussion if necessary.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to show a clear understanding of the topic. Make certain that your ideas are explained comprehensively and coherently throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to back your points. This can include statistical data, case studies, or real-world examples that are directly related to the topic at hand.
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