In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
In the future,transport will be very different from the present,even,
vehicles
will be without drivers, and only passengers will be present in them.
The principal advantages are that,
Remove the comma
apply
driverless
cars
are more time
efficient,no accidents
with this
type of transport, and easy to travel.These reasons outweigh the main disadvantages which are hacking and security
, and fewer jobs
.
To commence with,the first positive point of autonomous transport is that these vehicles
are very good at time
management.In other words
,driverless
cars
can connect with each other to move constantly.It is generally believed that cars
with no drivers can reach everywhere in less time
than conventional cars
.So,driverless
cars
are time
efficient.Secondly
,the main pro is fewer accidents
.In addition
,It is considered that humans are the main cause behind most of the road incidents.For example
, a study in Canada shows that 75% of road accidents
are due to
human errors.Therefore
,driverless
vehicles
mean no accidents
.Lastly
,for folks who do
not able to drive, self-driving Verb problem
are
cars
can help them.So, they can move freely.
On the other hand
,there are cons to this
situation as well.The first main negative point is hacking and security
.Moreover
, autonomous vehicles
can be hacked by anyone by the means of internet.For instance
,in the modern world,there are cars
that can be controlled by remotes,these types of vehicles
are the main target for hackers.Thus
,the security
of the transports is the concerning call.The second disadvantage is the reduction of the
Correct article usage
apply
jobs
.To explain,driverless
vehicles
have no need for a driver.As a result
,there are fewer jobs
in this
sector.
In conclusion. autonomous vehicles
are more time
efficient,reliable,and easy to use,these advantages clearly outweigh hacking and security
, and the fewer jobs
.Submitted by jamalashraf45 on
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coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to structure the essay into logical segments, which is commendable. However, the transitions between ideas are not consistently smooth, which at times hampers the reader's understanding of the logical progression of the argument. Consider using clear linking phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but they need to be more clearly defined and impactful, to better guide the reader through the discussion. In the introduction, make sure to paraphrase the question and outline the essay. In conclusion, ensure you summarize the main points and restate your opinion, avoiding new information.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points with some explanations and an example, which illustrates an understanding of how to build an argument. However, the evidence and examples could be further developed to enhance the persuasiveness of your assertions. Incorporating a range of specific and detailed examples would strengthen your argument. Be careful to avoid general statements that may not substantiate your points adequately.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task sufficiently, covering both advantages and disadvantages of the topic in discussion. To achieve a higher score, further develop the depth and breadth of your discussion, fully exploring the implications and effects of your points. The balance between both sides of the argument should be maintained, ensuring that you do not underserve any part of the question. Reflect on the completeness of your response by asking if the reader would have a comprehensive understanding of your perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but they need to be more comprehensive in nature. Demonstrate higher-level critical thinking by discussing wider-reaching impacts and considering various stakeholders. When presenting an argument, delve into the complexities and nuances to reflect a multidimensional understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You've used an example related to the reduction of accidents, which relates well to the topic. However, strive to use more specific, real-world examples to substantiate your argument. Examples should not only illustrate your point but also be detailed and precise to strengthen the credibility of your response. Referencing research, statistics, or case studies where applicable could greatly enhance the quality and persuasive power of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example