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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tablet and chart below give information on the police budget

The tablet and chart below give information on the police budget
#tablet #information #police #budget
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The tablet and pie chart illustrate
Correct your spelling
distribution
Correct article usage
the distrubution
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distrubution
Correct your spelling
distribution
 of
money
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 that belonged to
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police
Correct article usage
the police
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budget
Use synonyms
 from 2017 to 2018 in one area of Britain
Overall
Linking Words
, there were three main incomes of
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
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budget
Use synonyms
 which were National Government, Local Taxes, and Other sources and
this
Linking Words
budget
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
was distrubuted
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distrubuted
Correct your spelling
distributed
 on salaries, technology,
building
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buildings
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 and transport.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in all three different sources
while
Linking Words
 the
money
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 spent on salaries was the majority of
contribution
Add an article
the contribution
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İn
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In
 2017, the amount of
money
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 on
National
Correct article usage
the National
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 Government was 175.5
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
 and rose to 177.8
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
 in the following year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Local Taxes
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased from 91.2
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
 to 102.3
million
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pounds
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 and other sources showed a slight
increased
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increase
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 from 38
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
 to 38.5
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the total
budget
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of
Change preposition
apply
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police
Use synonyms
 showed
upward
Add an article
an upward
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 trend from 304.7
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
 to 318.6
pounds
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 between
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 two years
İn
Correct your spelling
In
 terms of how
money
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 spent, the majority of
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
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budget
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 went to salaries which was for
officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
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 and staff, dropping slightly from 75
percent
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 in 2017 to 69
percent
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 in 2018.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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 the proportion of building and transport remained
constantly
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constant
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, at 17
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 each year. An opposite pattern
occured
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occurred
 in the category of technology, it is figured a sharp rose from 8
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 14
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 following years, which was the lowest rate during the given period.
Submitted by nurullahgultekin3451 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, police, budget, million, pounds, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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