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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibility
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Some perceive that
people
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 enjoy life the most during
adulthood
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,
while
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 others believe that the adolescent years are the most exciting
time
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 of human
lives
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.
Although
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people
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 usually accumulate sufficient wealth by the
time
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 they reach
adulthood
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, I consider the youthful years as the most unforgettable moments because
this
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 is when
people
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 can do whatever they want without having to care much about other responsibilities. Despite family and work duties that older
people
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 have, many consider
adulthood
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 as the best period of their
lives
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 since they possess enough wealth that allows them to do whatever activities to make their
lives
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 much more fun. With the money they have accumulated, they can afford to purchase items of their dreams or embark on a journey to explore the world. Take office workers in developed countries as an example; when they reach their mid-career stage, most are able to earn decent incomes and afford to buy anything or travel to new places.
However
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, I believe that being able to fund one’s favourite activities would not define one’s true happiness. It is argued that it is the teenage years that should be viewed as the happiest
time
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 of human’s entire
lives
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due to
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 their carefree lifestyle. Unlike adults who need to be responsible for many other things, especially family and work, adolescents are free to pursue anything they wish to do.
For instance
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, many affluent Gen Zs in Cambodia these days enjoy their leisure
time
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 playing video games and socialise at cafes, without needing to care about their household chores.
Thus
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, compared to
adulthood
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, I think the youthful period would be a more exciting and fun
time
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. In conclusion,
while
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 some might say that being an adult enables one to enjoy their
lives
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 to the fullest with the wealth they have possessed, I believe the adolescent
time
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 is the best and most memorable moment since youths do not have many responsibilities, and most of the
time
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, they are free to choose to do whatever things they want to.
Submitted by emteeme on

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advice
Incorporate more varied examples to strengthen the arguments and provide a more comprehensive view. For instance, include examples from different cultures or less affluent regions for richer comparison.
advice
Some parts of the essay can benefit from a more thorough explanation of how wealth and responsibilities impact happiness. Provide a deeper analysis to elevate task achievement.
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Clear and comprehensive structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. This enhances readability and logical flow.
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Logical progression of ideas with effective use of transition phrases. This helps to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
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The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and offers a clear opinion, which aligns with task requirements.
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Examples are relevant and generally supportive of the main points, aiding in illustrating the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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