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Some scientists believe that studying the behavior of 3-year-old children can tell which children would grow up to be criminals. To what extent in your opinion is crime a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

#scientists #behavior #children #criminals #crime #product #nature
While
 some scientists have the notion that being a criminal person in the future is obvious from the behaviour of 3-year-old
children
, I personally do not accept
this
 claim.
Furthermore
, it is likely to control
children
’s tendency to commit crimes and stop them from being a criminal.
Firstly
, as far as I am concerned, being a criminal is not an inherent property and
children
 cannot be considered as a criminal based on their families’ situations or the
genes
 they may inherit from their parents. Human bodies need millions of
genes
 to create which come from not only parents but
also
 previous generations so it cannot be understood which
genes
 a body may get.
While
 many experiments have been conducted into
genes
, the importance of them on people’s characters and how they impact personality are not clear. Stopping
children
 from becoming criminals is possible and likely to happen
due to
 the fact that a good upbringing plays a vital role in the offspring’s personalities.
However
, the influence of schools and teachers as organizations and individuals who have responsibilities for students’ nurture should not be neglected. Teachers and trainers with correct and sufficient education about a variety of crimes, their impact on both individuals and society, and the consequences of doing them
children
 can tend to become positive members of the committee. In conclusion, based on the given facts and reasons my personal opinion is that crime is not related to human nature.
In addition
, parents and teachers have a crucial role in shaping
children
 to avoid criminality.
Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a certain level of logical structuring; however, transitions between ideas need to be smoother and more cohesive. Employing a variety of linking words and phrases can aid in improving the flow of the essay. Additionally, the development of ideas could be more balanced throughout.
task achievement
You have attempted to respond to the task, showing some understanding of the question, but the response lacks depth and failed to address the prompt comprehensively. Development of ideas is partial and needs to be further expanded on, with clear elaboration. Try to fully explain your reasoning and provide specific examples to support your arguments throughout the essay to solidify your stance on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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