IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

“All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.” To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Governments are responsible for the prosperity of their nations. It is often argued that residents are not responsible for all the education and healthcare fees, whilst it should be taken care of by the government funds. I partly agree with
this
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 idea regarding several things that will be discussed in
this
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 essay below. On the one hand, free education and healthcare systems most importantly must be applied for those who are classified as middle to lower-income residents.
This
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 will be considered as a form of understanding belief from the state.
For instance
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, there are numerous unfortunate children in Indonesia who desire to go to school but are hindered by economic problems. In
this
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 case, the ministry must provide them with
an
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apply
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equal learning
along with
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 the facilities.
On the other hand
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, I believe people who are sufficient enough or are categorized as middle to higher-income residents must spend a few of their funds in the education and healthcare sectors. Not only for the sake of their necessities but the rest of the check will be distributed
together with
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 the governance wages to contribute to the growth of the nation's infrastructure.
For example
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, only certain categories are in charge of the tuition fees from their universities,
this
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 salary will be allocated to construct the university's buildings, facilities, and so on.
As a result
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, all the students regardless of their status will be experiencing the convenience of their campus.
To conclude
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, the role of government's money plays the most for those who are unfortunate enough to access their necessities. In order to grow the nation's infrastructure, not only the state's money but the cost from those who are fortunate enough will be contributed.

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points could be better developed and transitions between ideas smoother for enhanced clarity. Using a variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph flows logically into the next would improve coherence.
task achievement
The response partially meets the task requirements but does not explore the full complexity of the statement. It would benefit from a more developed argument that clearly states the extent of your agreement or disagreement. Make sure to address all parts of the prompt, discuss both sides of the argument (if applicable), and develop your ideas fully with a balanced discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • fundamental human rights
  • empower
  • well-being
  • economic implications
  • workforce
  • social inequalities
  • sustainability
  • financial burden
  • quality of services
  • models
  • successfully implemented
  • practicality
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