IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts show the main methodof transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009

The charts show the main methodof transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009
The pie charts present the main method of vehicle of
people
Use synonyms
 moving to a university in two different periods (2004 and 2009).
Overall
Linking Words
, both in 2004 and 2009,
cars
Use synonyms
 and
buses
Use synonyms
 were the two most popular transportation for
people
Use synonyms
 coming to the university
while
Linking Words
trains
Use synonyms
 and walking were the least picked method of
transport
Use synonyms
. In 2004,
Cars
Use synonyms
 dominated the numbers as just more than half of
people
Use synonyms
 who utilize
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to the university at 51%. For the second-picked vehicle,
Buses
Use synonyms
 recorded at one-third and below the
buses
Use synonyms
 there were three types of
transport
Use synonyms
 which contain no more than 10% of the figures. They are Bicycles
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 at 9%, and 4% of
people
Use synonyms
 used their feet.
Trains
Use synonyms
 stated at only 3% making it the least popular
transport
Use synonyms
. In 2009, there was an increase
number
Use synonyms
 in using any transportation except
cars
Use synonyms
.
Buses
Use synonyms
 jumped into the most popular at 46% followed by
cars
Use synonyms
 who dropped to 26%. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 using bicycles grew almost double, at 16%. Both feet and
trains
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 experienced an increase at 6% and 4%.
However
Linking Words
, the rise in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 using
trains
Use synonyms
 did not change it as the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 compared to any other type of
transport
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cars, buses, trains, transport, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • method of transport
  • comparison
  • increase
  • decrease
  • cars
  • bicycles
  • walking
  • public transport
  • popular choice
  • reasons
  • changes
  • infrastructure improvements
  • impact
  • transport choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: