A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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contemporary world, people are becoming more health conscious and adopting healthy eating habits , and are inclined towards more physical exercises. In my opinion, individuals should limit their ambitions and avoid over-dependency on technology . I will discuss the reasons and will give some examples. To start with, as we know these days people have more ambitions than they used to have in the past,

therefore

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we have to work more hours in order to earn money to make our dreams true,

due to

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which we are not only unable to take care of ourselves, but

also

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we don't get enough quality time to spend with our family which leads to a weak relationship.

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, we become vulnerable to various health ailments and stress. One of my friends, has a fondness for buying an expensive car, working 7 days a week to save some money for the car and not getting enough rest and time for family.

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, limiting our ambitions could make our lives healthy and happy as well. Another thing ,

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would say that could help in achieving a healthy lifestyle is minimizing over-reliance on technological things like cars and mobile phones.

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, these days people prefer to take a car even for short distances rather than going on foot.

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, there is a need to cut down the hours we spend on mobile phones every day in order to make some downtime for the family to strengthen bonds with family members, which could be a great contributor to a healthy life as it reduces stress and makes a person healthy. To exemplify, my boss is 75 years old and uses a mobile phone just 30 minutes a day.

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his eyesight is better than those who use mobile phones throughout the day. In conclusion,

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would say, that limiting our longings and making some free time for family by minimizing screen hours could assist in a healthy lifestyle.

jassijaspreet153Tue Jan 28 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. While transitioning between ideas, make sure the connection is explicit and natural to maintain the logical flow.

Task Response

Your response effectively addresses the prompt, but try to cover all aspects more fully to enhance completeness.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

While your examples support your points effectively, aim to make your ideas slightly clearer by explaining them further.

Introduction and Conclusion

The introduction is concise and clearly sets the context for the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.

Relevant Specific Examples

Your use of personal examples, such as your friend's experience and your boss's habits, helps to illustrate and support your arguments well.

Task Achievement

You maintain a clear focus on the question of how people in your country can stay healthy, addressing the aspects of limiting ambition and reducing technology reliance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

balanced diet
physical activity
mindfulness
chronic diseases
health check-ups
processed foods
mental health
nutrients
emotional support
obesity prevention
screenings
preventive healthcare
supportive social network
nutritional education
adequate sleep

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A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. what problem does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,The way many people interact with each other has it changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relation that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a work place every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the world particularly in their contributions to global warming what can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming?