IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, ⦁describe what you enjoyed about the course ⦁say how much cooking you've done since the course ⦁suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
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 letter finds you well. I am writing to express my appreciation for the short cookery course I attended at your school. The course was amazing, and since
then
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, I have been cooking every day.
In addition
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 to
this
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, I must emphasize that the program has added significant value to my skills, particularly in soups and Italian cuisine. Throughout
this
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 period, I have had the opportunity to cook different cuisines, including Turkish and Indian.
Moreover
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, my background as a steward
further
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 provides me with a valuable advantage.
As a result
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 of the course, I secured a new job with a higher salary. All in all, I strongly suggest preparing a new program to demonstrate cake-baking skills.
Furthermore
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, there are plenty of restaurants nearby actively searching for new employees who are skilled in cake making.
While
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 I await your positive feedback, I would be grateful if you could reply to my letter at your earliest convenience. I am looking forward to hearing from you. If you need any help, please do not hesitate to contact me. Kind regards, Salih Zeki Köni

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a single clear idea related to the prompts given. For instance, the third paragraph seems to blend personal job success with the influence of the course which could be separated more clearly for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout your letter by organizing your content into clear paragraphs that each deal with one aspect of the task. Consider reordering content for a more natural flow of ideas.
task achievement
For better task achievement, ensure your letter remains focused on the feedback points requested: what you enjoyed, how much cooking you've done since, and suggestions for new courses.
task achievement
Adopt a consistent tone that matches the formal nature of writing a letter to course director. Avoid informal language and maintain a formal register throughout.
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