Some people believe that children have the freedom to make mistakes, while others argue that adults should prevent them from doing so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The question of whether
children
should have the
freedom
to make
mistakes
or if
adults
should prevent them from doing so is an ongoing debate. Supporters of the former argue that allowing
children
to make
mistakes
is crucial for their personal growth and
development
.
On the other hand
, proponents of the latter claim that
adults
bear the responsibility of protecting
children
from harmful
consequences
. In my opinion,
while
some level of
freedom
to make
mistakes
is essential for
children
, it is necessary for
adults
to intervene when their
safety
or well-being is at stake. Advocates for
children
's
freedom
to make
mistakes
often argue that learning through trial and error is an integral part of human
development
. They believe that experiencing the
consequences
of their actions allows
children
to understand the
cause and effect
Add a hyphen
cause-and-effect
show examples
relationship in various contexts, fostering critical thinking and problem-solving skills. By navigating their individual paths,
children
also
gain independence and self-confidence, becoming better equipped to handle future challenges.
Moreover
, allowing
children
to make
mistakes
can help them become resilient and adaptable individuals. In a controlled environment, where
adults
supervise and guide rather than dictate,
children
can learn valuable life lessons. These experiences can teach them the importance of responsibility, accountability, and empathy, traits that are essential for success in adulthood. In
this
sense,
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
to make
mistakes
can be seen as a necessary part of a child's
overall
development
.
However
, it is equally important for
adults
to intervene when
children
's
safety
or well-being is compromised. There are certain
mistakes
that can have severe
consequences
, including physical harm or emotional trauma.
Adults
should provide guidance and set appropriate boundaries to ensure
children
do not inadvertently harm themselves or others.
For instance
, attempting dangerous stunts or engaging in risky
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
should be prevented to safeguard their
safety
.
Furthermore
,
children
may lack the cognitive or emotional capacity to fully comprehend the implications of their actions.
Adults
,
such
as parents or teachers, can play a crucial role in teaching
children
about potential risks and
consequences
, helping them make informed decisions. By intervening,
adults
can strike a balance between allowing
children
to learn from their
mistakes
while
providing guidance and protection. In conclusion,
while
children
should have some
freedom
to make
mistakes
for their personal growth and
development
,
adults
must intervene when their
safety
or well-being is at stake. Striking a balance between allowing
children
to learn from their
mistakes
and safeguarding them from harm is essential. By doing so,
adults
can foster resilience, independence, and critical thinking skills in
children
while
ensuring their
overall
well-being.
Submitted by huaixiangdong on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates clear organization with a logical flow, hence the high scores in logical structure and the presence of an introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and that the rest of the paragraph elaborates on that idea.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both views and provided a clear opinion which accounts for the high task response score. However, try to incorporate more specific examples to enhance the support of your main points, which could lead to a higher score in relevant specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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