Some people believe that children have the freedom to make mistakes, while others argue that adults should prevent them from doing so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The question of whether
children
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should have the
freedom
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to make
mistakes
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or if
adults
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should prevent them from doing so is an ongoing debate. Supporters of the former argue that allowing
children
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to make
mistakes
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is crucial for their personal growth and
development
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.
On the other hand
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, proponents of the latter claim that
adults
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bear the responsibility of protecting
children
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from harmful
consequences
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. In my opinion,
while
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some level of
freedom
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to make
mistakes
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is essential for
children
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, it is necessary for
adults
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to intervene when their
safety
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or well-being is at stake. Advocates for
children
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's
freedom
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to make
mistakes
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often argue that learning through trial and error is an integral part of human
development
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. They believe that experiencing the
consequences
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of their actions allows
children
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to understand the
cause and effect
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cause-and-effect
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relationship in various contexts, fostering critical thinking and problem-solving skills. By navigating their individual paths,
children
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also
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gain independence and self-confidence, becoming better equipped to handle future challenges.
Moreover
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, allowing
children
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to make
mistakes
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can help them become resilient and adaptable individuals. In a controlled environment, where
adults
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supervise and guide rather than dictate,
children
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can learn valuable life lessons. These experiences can teach them the importance of responsibility, accountability, and empathy, traits that are essential for success in adulthood. In
this
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sense,
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freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
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to make
mistakes
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can be seen as a necessary part of a child's
overall
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development
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.
However
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, it is equally important for
adults
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to intervene when
children
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's
safety
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or well-being is compromised. There are certain
mistakes
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that can have severe
consequences
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, including physical harm or emotional trauma.
Adults
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should provide guidance and set appropriate boundaries to ensure
children
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do not inadvertently harm themselves or others.
For instance
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, attempting dangerous stunts or engaging in risky
behaviors
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behaviours
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should be prevented to safeguard their
safety
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.
Furthermore
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,
children
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may lack the cognitive or emotional capacity to fully comprehend the implications of their actions.
Adults
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,
such
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as parents or teachers, can play a crucial role in teaching
children
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about potential risks and
consequences
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, helping them make informed decisions. By intervening,
adults
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can strike a balance between allowing
children
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to learn from their
mistakes
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while
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providing guidance and protection. In conclusion,
while
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children
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should have some
freedom
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to make
mistakes
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for their personal growth and
development
Use synonyms
,
adults
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must intervene when their
safety
Use synonyms
or well-being is at stake. Striking a balance between allowing
children
Use synonyms
to learn from their
mistakes
Use synonyms
and safeguarding them from harm is essential. By doing so,
adults
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can foster resilience, independence, and critical thinking skills in
children
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while
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ensuring their
overall
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well-being.
Submitted by huaixiangdong on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates clear organization with a logical flow, hence the high scores in logical structure and the presence of an introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and that the rest of the paragraph elaborates on that idea.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both views and provided a clear opinion which accounts for the high task response score. However, try to incorporate more specific examples to enhance the support of your main points, which could lead to a higher score in relevant specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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