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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year. Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the estimated
sales
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 of
jeans
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 next
year
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 and the pie
chart
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 gives information about the projected
market
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share
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at the end
Linking Words
 of next
year
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 for two companies in
jeans
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 in Turkey.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
sales
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 of
jeans
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 by Jack &
Jones
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Co
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. were higher than
Mango
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Co
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. in the next
year
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the projected
market
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share
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 of Jack &
Jones
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Co
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. in
jeans
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 is
also
Linking Words
 higher than
Mango
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Co
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.
at the end
Linking Words
 of next
year
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. A deep analysis of the bar
chart
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 provided reveals in January of the next
year
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 the
sales
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 of
jeans
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 by Jack &
Jones
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Co
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. were higher than
Mango
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Co
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. (about 450
thousand
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pairs
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 and about 150
thousand
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pairs
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 respectively).
Besides
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, estimated the
sales
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 of
jeans
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 by Jack &
Jones
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Co
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. increase from about 250
thousand
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pairs
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 in February to 900
thousand
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pairs
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 in December of next
year
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in only 2 months the
sales
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 of
jeans
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 by
Mango
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Co
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. were higher than Jack &
Jones
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Co
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. are July and August. It is noticeable in the pie
chart
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 that the projected
market
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share
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 in
jeans
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 of both Jack &
Jones
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Co
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. and
Mango
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Co
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. have a proportion of 50% of the
market
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share
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 in
jeans
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 of Turkey. Meanwhile, the
market
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share
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 in
jeans
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 of Jack &
Jones
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Co
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. is higher than
Mango
Use synonyms
Co
Use synonyms
. (about 30% and 20% respectively).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, sales, jeans, year, market, share, jones, co, mango, thousand, pairs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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