Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many people believe that

art

Use synonyms

and drama are as necessary as other primary school subjects. In my personal opinion,

art

Use synonyms

-based classes should be prioritized as highly as science and math for scholars. In

this

Linking Words

essay, we will discuss

further

Linking Words

the reasons behind the statement that

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with. Creativity and innovation are two of the most significant skills

this

Linking Words

generation must conquer.

This

Linking Words

era of the 4th Industrial Revolution is a shred of evidence that technology has significantly improved to the point that many simple jobs can be done easily by robots.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many questions can instantly be answered by Artificial Intelligence. In turn, most global companies do not need any traditional workers anymore.

Instead

Linking Words

, they currently searching for more innovative young adults to develop their business by maximizing the use of available technology. People who have novel ideas are more crucial for today's entrepreneurship.

On the other hand

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

and drama can boost the next generations' expertise in creativity and facilitate innovation.

For instance

Linking Words

, a breathtaking theatre show creation requires skilful conceptors, talented actors and actresses, excelled directors, and creative plot writers.

This

Linking Words

way, children can sharpen their high-thinking skills, including how to arrange a spectacular performance with their own original concept.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, determining

art

Use synonyms

as an obligated subject for young learners is highly recommended, as it could match the needs of today's industrial needs. In conclusion,

art

Use synonyms

classes can be really important to be included in early school subjects, since it is highly beneficial for children's future employment, as they can shape learners' to be more creative and innovative. To realise

this

Linking Words

act, schools' policymakers should start to pay more attention to

art

Use synonyms

and highlight it in each institution's must-take subjects.

jelitasofiazMon Jan 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each body paragraph has a clear central idea and transitions are used to smoothly move from one point to the next. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present and provide a clear stance on the topic. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported, but to increase this score, consistently incorporate detailed examples or evidence throughout the essay to fully explore and support the ideas presented.

task achievement

You have completed the response by addressing the prompt and providing a clear opinion. Enhance this by ensuring all parts of the question are fully answered and the main ideas are expanded sufficiently.

task achievement

Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, but for a higher score, develop each idea further with additional examples, details, and explanations throughout the essay.

task achievement

To improve the provision of relevant specific examples, include more concrete examples or scenarios to illustrate the points made, thereby enhancing the persuasiveness and completeness of the argument.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Health expert believe that walking is good exercise for health.howerver people are walking less nowadays.why is this happening and what are the solutions?
A healthy body is undeniably the most important asset for a human being. Although subject matter experts praise jogging as a prudent exercise to gain a healthier body, it has become less popular among the new generation. It is my contention that people spend the majority of their time eating unhealthy food and surfing on the internet instead of pursuing sports activities, therefore, this propensity discourages people from walking.
7
band
In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some nations, teenagers believe that diligence will bring many achievements they want. I am of the opinion that working hard to achieve has its advantages and disadvantages. I will shed light on the issues in the following essay.
6.5
band
Young people’s behaviour is often influenced by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important for personal growth, while other people feel that it has distinct disadvantages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
As peer pressure among young people is gaining much more concern in recent years, whether it brings merits or becomes a barrier preventing youngsters from performing at their best has also been a topic of interest. Both viewpoints are justifiable, but I personally lean towards the former.
7
band
Some people think it is better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
It is thought by some that friendship is better when you have different opinions, while others believe the opposite is the best. In my opinion, it is good when you agree with your friends, but it is way better when friends have other views and perspectives on life. I will discuss why I argue this in the ensuing paragraphs.
7.5
band
‏Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. ‏Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people assert that it is a priority of individuals to pay for education and healthcare as it can be a burden for the government to ensure.However,others,including me,believe that the city administrations should allocate to these services,because some cannot afford to pay for these basic necessities and it can cause discrimination .

Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Health expert believe that walking is good exercise for health.howerver people are walking less nowadays.why is this happening and what are the solutions?

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Young people’s behaviour is often influenced by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important for personal growth, while other people feel that it has distinct disadvantages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some people think it is better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

‏Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. ‏Discuss both views and give your opinion