Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #drama #school #subjects #level

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Many people believe that

art

and drama are as necessary as other primary school subjects. In my personal opinion,

art

-based classes should be prioritized as highly as science and math for scholars. In

this

essay, we will discuss

further

the reasons behind the statement that

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with. Creativity and innovation are two of the most significant skills

this

generation must conquer.

This

era of the 4th Industrial Revolution is a shred of evidence that technology has significantly improved to the point that many simple jobs can be done easily by robots.

Moreover

, many questions can instantly be answered by Artificial Intelligence. In turn, most global companies do not need any traditional workers anymore.

Instead

, they currently searching for more innovative young adults to develop their business by maximizing the use of available technology. People who have novel ideas are more crucial for today's entrepreneurship.

On the other hand

art

and drama can boost the next generations' expertise in creativity and facilitate innovation.

For instance

, a breathtaking theatre show creation requires skilful conceptors, talented actors and actresses, excelled directors, and creative plot writers.

This

way, children can sharpen their high-thinking skills, including how to arrange a spectacular performance with their own original concept.

For

this

reason, determining

art

as an obligated subject for young learners is highly recommended, as it could match the needs of today's industrial needs. In conclusion,

art

classes can be really important to be included in early school subjects, since it is highly beneficial for children's future employment, as they can shape learners' to be more creative and innovative. To realise

this

act, schools' policymakers should start to pay more attention to

art

and highlight it in each institution's must-take subjects.

Submitted by jelitasofiaz on Mon Jan 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each body paragraph has a clear central idea and transitions are used to smoothly move from one point to the next. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present and provide a clear stance on the topic. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported, but to increase this score, consistently incorporate detailed examples or evidence throughout the essay to fully explore and support the ideas presented.

task achievement

You have completed the response by addressing the prompt and providing a clear opinion. Enhance this by ensuring all parts of the question are fully answered and the main ideas are expanded sufficiently.

task achievement

Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, but for a higher score, develop each idea further with additional examples, details, and explanations throughout the essay.

task achievement

To improve the provision of relevant specific examples, include more concrete examples or scenarios to illustrate the points made, thereby enhancing the persuasiveness and completeness of the argument.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

a growing number of people feel that animal should not be exploited while other argue humans must employ animals for research and foods. discuss both views

Some children spend hours everday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You took your family to a nearby restaurant.you were disapointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant.