IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.
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The diagram illustrates
various
Correct article usage
the various
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 stages of a
salmon to get
Verb problem
salmon's
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mature stages
Replace the word
maturation
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are eight steps in the
life
Use synonyms
cycle
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 of a salmon from starting eggs to becoming fully adult.
At the first stage
Linking Words
 of the
life
Use synonyms
cycle
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, salmon spawns and lays numerous eggs in the river. The egg emerges with
along
Correct your spelling
a long
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 tail and becomes a larva. In the next stage, the fish quickly grow and move into the freshwater.
The
Change preposition
In the
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 following stage of the
life
Use synonyms
cycle
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, the young fish become
more
Change the word
apply
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bigger and start their
life
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 in the ocean. The growth fish migrate upstream to the spawning area of the river and the
life
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cycle
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 starts again.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words life, cycle with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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