IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.
#life #cycle #salmon #eggs #adult #fish
The diagram illustrates
various
Correct article usage
the various
show examples
 stages of a
salmon to get
Verb problem
salmon's
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mature stages
Replace the word
maturation
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.
Overall
, there are eight steps in the
life
cycle
 of a salmon from starting eggs to becoming fully adult.
At the first stage
 of the
life
cycle
, salmon spawns and lays numerous eggs in the river. The egg emerges with
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
 tail and becomes a larva. In the next stage, the fish quickly grow and move into the freshwater.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 following stage of the
life
cycle
, the young fish become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
bigger and start their
life
 in the ocean. The growth fish migrate upstream to the spawning area of the river and the
life
cycle
 starts again.
Submitted by thurasoe1992.ac on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words life, cycle with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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