Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's digital age, a large amount of individuals choose to connect with another update the latest news anytime through social
media
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platforms
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.
This
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writer states that the disadvantages of using social
media
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outweigh the disadvantages. It is the writer of
this
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essay who believes that the benefit of enhancing more opportunities to be
friends
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and pursuing the newest
trends
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of the world outweighs the drawbacks of developing cyberbullying. One of the main beneficial aspects of using social
media
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platforms
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is improvement in connecting all relationships by adding more
friends
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to their profile in social
media
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. In light of
this
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, most
people
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use some social
media
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applications and do some basic steps to link with their family members, relatives or
friends
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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way
also
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gets in touch with others in spite of physical distances. It is the most convenient way for all
people
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, regardless of sex and age to maintain their online conservations every time and everywhere. A standout example of
this
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would be the students who study abroad far from their houses. Studying abroad has not become a pressing issue in contemporary society because they can learn how to connect with their parents and
friends
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easily with their phones and electricity gadgets.
As a result
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,
people
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do not have more awareness of geographical distances and quickly maintain their relationships around the world. Another significant advantage of using social
media
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every day is
people
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can update both their knowledge and appearances throughout the news on the
platforms
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.
This
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can be seen in more
trends
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from other countries and cultures which are spread among young generations. These
trends
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have more influences on their developments and
also
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provide some positive effect on their knowledge in all fields. Take Vietnamese teenagers as a specific example of
this
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aspect, there is no doubt that all Europe clothes
trends
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are spread dramatically in
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country. They follow and make
trends
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with new styles and unusual clothes from well-known international stylists or models.
Moreover
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, it becomes a part of their life which all
people
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have to try at once time. The main drawbacks associated with social networking sites relate to the development of cyberbullying.
This
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is become a pressing issue in
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bustle and hustle of life. There are lots of deaths with the main reason being under the pressure from social
media
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. It can be seen that the massive amount of public on social
media
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platforms
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has a significant impact on the lives of everyone. So, when a person joins in social
media
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with hate speech or misinformation, they may face a lot of criticism and spend a long time explaining
this
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problem in the right way.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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is not able to prevent anonymous
people
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who attach indirectly others with bad comments or toxic criticism.
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was evident when Korea had a famous actress who died under the pressure of the public. She made an unreliable mistake when she shared a post to sympathize about a hard circumstance of a woman in her country. Taking all points into account, using social networking sites is the best method to connect with each other despite physical distances and enhance their knowledge about the newest news is still outweighed by the development in cyberbullying.
Hence
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, using social
media
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platforms
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is far more useful for the development of life

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cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and consider finding synonyms or rephrasing similar ideas to keep the writing engaging and varied.
task response
While your essay contains relevant examples, it can benefit from more precise language and clarity. Efforts to concisely and clearly articulate complex ideas will strengthen your essay.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and they frame the essay well.
task response
Effective use of relevant and specific examples to illustrate points.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with examples and explanations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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