Many people love to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

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Fashion
Use synonyms
has become an important part of modern life. From teenagers to elderly
people
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, all love dressing beautifully and elegantly.
Moreover
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,
fashion
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nowadays describes a person’s identity and
personality
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. The reasons behind
this
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scenario, and whether it has positive or negative impacts, will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the most important reason why
people
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are falling for
fashion
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nowadays is that it enhances their
personality
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and makes them feel confident. If a person is dressed well, they will feel confident in themselves and carry themselves nicely in their surroundings.
Also
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, dressing
according to
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one’s own
personality
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enhances one's appearance.
For instance
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, if a dusky-skinned person wears light colours, it enhances their features and makes them look prettier.
Hence
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, dressing
accordingly
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can make a major shift in one’s looks.
Furthermore
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, another significant reason for
this
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is that fashionable and branded
clothes
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describe a person’s class in society. As nowadays it is a trend to wear branded
clothes
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, many
people
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try to dress smartly. But these branded
clothes
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are often expensive, and
thus
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, they are used to set
standards
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in society.
For example
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, individuals wearing Ralph Lauren will be considered richer than those wearing Ardene.
Consequently
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, to raise their
standards
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and class in society,
people
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buy expensive and fashionable
clothes
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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fashion
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is something
that is
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considered more important and helps a person build their
personality
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, it
also
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sets
standards
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for certain
people
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. Considering
fashion
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as a trend is always positive, but when
people
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use it to set boundaries and
standards
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, it will have negative outcomes, and many
people
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might feel inferior to others.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. You explain why people like fashion well, but your view on good or bad should be clearer from the start and in each body part.
task response
Add more clear support for your main ideas. Some points are good, but they need a little more detail to feel fully developed.
task response
Use examples that are more general and easy to believe. This will make your ideas stronger and more balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. To make it better, link each paragraph more clearly to the main question.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences repeat the same idea about personality and looks. Try to avoid this so your writing feels tighter and smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. You use some good ones, but a few parts can flow more naturally with simpler and more direct links.
task response
You answer the question and stay on the topic through the essay.
task response
You give two clear reasons why people wear fashionable clothes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because the ideas are in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, and both fit the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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