Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #quality #government #money #projects

In the

contamporary

Correct your spelling

contemporary

era like today,

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

become the main source to keep people up on their daily busy days. In fact, painting and music become two out of many art sectors which get liked by many people globally.

Thus

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should

put

Verb problem

take

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

action to support the

existance

Correct your spelling

existence

of those two key points.

Therefore

this

essay will explain the reasons why

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

support is crucial for both the artists and the people that enjoy the painting and the music. First and foremost,

artistic

Add an article

the artistic

an artistic

show examples

project can help the artist financially as the project is the place for them to get work and become a place for them to get paid. Government

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introduction conclusion present

The essay lacks a proper introduction and conclusion which are essential for structuring the argument effectively. Ensure that an introductory paragraph is included that presents the topic and your thesis statement, and a concluding paragraph that summarizes the points made and restates your position.

logical structure

More effective logical structuring is required. Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea that progresses logically from one to the next. Make sure to use cohesive devices, such as linking words and transitions, to help guide the reader.

supported main points

The main points you present need to be supported with clear explanations and relevant examples. Develop your arguments fully in separate paragraphs, ensuring each point aligns with the thesis and contributes to the overall essay objective.

complete response

Your response does not address the full prompt as it appears unfinished and lacks a clear conclusion. Ensure that you fully develop your essay to meet the required length and to provide a comprehensive response to all parts of the task.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas in the essay need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Focus on developing each point thoroughly with explanations and pertinent examples. Provide a balanced view if required by the task, discussing both sides of an argument or multiple aspects of an issue.

relevant specific examples

Include specific examples to support your points. These examples make your arguments more convincing and show the examiner that you can relate abstract ideas to real-world situations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

111 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

With an increasing population communicating via internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become the thing of the past. To what extent do you agree?

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?