Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

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There is no denying the fact that

music

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is crucial in our lives.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that

music

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only has a positive effect on people and societies, there is

also

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an argument that

music

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also

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has a negative effect on us.

This

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essay will analyse

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. on the one hand,

music

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is essential for our life

due to

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its ability to add more beauty to our world.

In other words

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, It gives us the needed energy to enjoy our day in a happy way.

In addition

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, a lot of feelings can be expressed only by

music

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For example

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, if someone wants to express his feelings, he will directly think about sending a song to say what he cannot say.

on the other hand

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music

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plays a crucial role in feelings disorder. It is possible to say that people who listen to

music

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most of the time are usually weak emotionally.

Moreover

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, our time is precious, spending it on useful things

such

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as reading, improving our skills, and learning is more important than wasting it on listening to

music

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For instance

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, sometimes to listen to a certain artist, you should wait in a long queue and spend more time and money to get his album In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that

music

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is an important element in our celebrations and our special occasions, and I think

music

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is indispensable, I hope in the future people be more aware of

music

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's role in our life

Submitted by isamifahad4 on Tue Jan 02 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction is clear, setting the direction for the essay; however, the conclusion could be enhanced by summarizing the key points more effectively.

Logical Structure

Ensure a logical flow by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct main points supported by specific examples.

Supported Main Points

Develop your ideas further with more specific examples to underline your main points; some arguments need stronger support to be convincing.

Complete Response

You could be more direct and explicit in addressing the task to ensure that you fully respond to all parts of the prompt.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

Strive for clarity and development in sharing your ideas to provide a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Relevant & Specific Examples

Using more detailed and relevant examples will enrich your essay and make your arguments more persuasive.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or a negative development?

some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spend on other things. Discuss both views and your own opinion.

Some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behaviour while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

In recent years, technology has significantly transformed the way people communicate. Some believe that these changes have brought more advantages than disadvantages, while others argue the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.