Television, newspaper, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recently, there have been tons of show programmes delivering entertainers' everyday

lives

Use synonyms

. Some consume these programmes without any thoughts,

while

Linking Words

others are concerned about issues that could be prompted by the focused interest in

celebrities

Use synonyms

lives

Use synonyms

. I totally agree with the latter argument.

This

Linking Words

essay will demonstrate why I believe the statement. First of all, the public can be depressed by comparing their

lives

Use synonyms

with those of famous figures.

For instance

Linking Words

, as the Korean parenting reality programme that shows how actors raise their children became popular, many parents in Korea felt guilty with their children that they could not support their kids

as well as

Linking Words

the actors do. Admittedly, individuals can get some tips to care

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

children through the programme,

however

Linking Words

, it is not the only source to get them. The excessive exposal of entertainers' personal

lives

Use synonyms

can make individuals dissatisfied with their current states, which can cause social inequality.

In addition

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

who present their private

lives

Use synonyms

through various media can be potential victims of a serious crime.

For example

Linking Words

, some idols who introduced their house to fans through social media suffered from stalking crimes. With the rapid advancement of information technology, everything in their private area

that is

Linking Words

viewed through media can be a trigger of unexpected dangerous situations.

Therefore

Linking Words

, producers should keep that in mind when picturing entertainers' private

lives

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, too much highlight on

celebrities

Use synonyms

' personal

lives

Use synonyms

can cause problems for both viewers and

celebrities

Use synonyms

. Since

this

Linking Words

can cause damage to

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

and society

wise

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, It is necessary to seek balance when presenting famous figures'

lives

Use synonyms

ywb516Mon Jan 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While you have introduced the essay with a clear opinion and concluded your argument, your ideas could benefit from deeper analysis and further development. Additionally, try to ensure that your introduction and conclusion accurately reflect the content of your main body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Your essay displays a level of logical structuring, with paragraphs dedicated to different ideas. However, work on linking these ideas more clearly and cohesively. Transition phrases and a clearer overarching argument would enhance the flow of the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think educated people more valuable than people who learned skills through experience Do you think educated people are more valuable for society? What kind of skill can people learn through experience that can benefit society?
Some people believe that academic individuals are more beneficial to society compared to skilled people. I believe both educated individuals and people with practical skills are equally important for the community. In the following, we will discuss the most crucial advantages of schooled people and then spotlight the pivotal practical skills that make a tremendous impact on society.
6
band
Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The impact of technology on crime is a widely debated topic. Some people argue that technological advancements contribute to reducing crime rates by enhancing security measures, while others believe that technology actually facilitates criminal activities. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint.
7.5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Economic growth is considered a priority by most governments, but some individuals endorse that progress in all parts of a country is equally important. This essay will illuminate why the economy is the heartbeat of any society, setting the rhythm and tempo of development.
6.5
band
Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
It is argued that the government should invest in railways more than in highways. Although many people see that the roads are more essential, I believe that the railroads play a significant role in reducing the pollution in our environment as well as reducing traffic jams.
6.5
band
you will be graduating from university and would like to invite your family to the ceremony. Write a letter of invitation to your parents. In the letter: – Explain that you have completed your studies – Give details of the event, including time, date and dress code – Let them know how many tickets they have and who they are for
Hope you're in the pink of your health!

Some people think educated people more valuable than people who learned skills through experience Do you think educated people are more valuable for society? What kind of skill can people learn through experience that can benefit society?

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.