Some people feel that the exploration of space justifies a large amount of government and private investment. Other people think that this field is of increasingly low relevance, and should not be a priority. Debate both sides of this discussion, and explain your own view. How important is it for us to explore space at the moment?

The issue of whether some people think that the
exploration
of
space
justifies a large amount of government and private investment.
While
some argue that
this
field is of increasingly low relevance, and should not be a priority, I firmly believe that the
exploration
of
space
should be a priority. On the one hand, if we want to find out new things belong to
space
we need to spend too much money because all the devices used for
space
research
are actually expensive,
for instance
, based on information from NASA launched a rocket named Soyuz-2 which are popular using for
space
exploration
, it spends 35 to 80 million USD for per launch.
Furthermore
,
instead
of using the money to invest in other
planets
, we can absolutely pay for Earth's development
such
as hospitals, schools, orphanages and environments.
In contrast
,
space
exploration
can bring the advantage of study for children. Take Vinschool as an example, students who are from 6 years old to 10 years old had access to study about
space
resources and other
planets
.
Although
this
lesson does not have too many benefits, it helps students know more about
space
like planet names and
planets
’ shape. As the
last
point, the
exploration
of
space
helps people to solve their issues because the things that we found on other
planets
all were taken for
research
,
for instance
, NASA scientists have stated that they found life on other
planets
such
as Kepler 186f, Mar, and Proxima Centauri b. That
research
can gain a large benefit for mankind. In conclusion, the arguments that
space
exploration
should be a priority are numerous
due to
academics for children about
space
and new
research
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
people to solve their problems.
Therefore
, I reiterate my position that
although
space
research
is an important merit, investing in Earth is the most important issue.
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task achievement
The essay presents the main arguments for both sides of the debate and provides a clear introduction and conclusion. However, it could benefit from more detailed evidence and examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are longer than necessary and could be clearer if broken into shorter sentences. This would improve overall clarity and coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the debate and includes a clear conclusion, which reflects a good structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow and structure, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.
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